This Real Recipe From Rush Limbaugh Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It

And that's what happened to Rush Limbaugh.

OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Helplast night [four or seven or nine years ago, whenever] and according to Minnie, not only will Crisco soften your elbows but it is the Platonic Ideal for frying chicken. That thing was like a 2 hour and 30 minute Crisco commercial, with racism! We will buy a jar immediately! BUT. Did you happen to notice that thing above? It is a recipe from Rush's mom, as also discovered by the Crap Archivist, in "Recipes from Old Cape Girardieu."

That, Wonkados, is what a young Rush Limbaugh ate for a treat: jello with pineapple and stuffed olives. AND MIRACLE WHIP ON TOP. Not Cool Whip — that lovely fake whipped cream in a tub — but Miracle Whip, the mayonnaise blended with salad dressing.

Now we will transcribe that screenshot for the viewing-impaired!

Dissolve one box lime jello in 3/4 cups hot water; add 3/4 cups ice water to cool mixture. To this add one small can crushed pineapple and one small jar of sliced stuffed olives. Let jell. Dissolve a second package of lime jello in one and one half cups of water. When cool, add one small package of Philadelphia cheese cut into bits; one half cup of Miracle Whip, and when it has started to jell, one half cup of pecans. Pour second layer over the first and let set. — Mrs. Rush H. Limbaugh Sr.

And now we know who is to blame for Rush Limbaugh turning out that way.

[ VillageVoice ]