This Woman's Awful Job Interview Is Maybe The Worst I've Ever Heard! Tabs, Thurs., Nov. 16, 2023

That's a long headline. Morning news roundup!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Holding my breath, and this seems promising. Hamas may agree to let some dozens of hostages go in return for freed prisoners from Israeli jails and a multi-day pause. Joe Biden says he think it could happen. Who the fuck ever knows what Netanyahu thinks. (Gift link Washington Post) Using up all my Washington Post gift links, but here’s a deeply reported piece on what Hamas was aiming to do with its massacre, how it hoped to do it again and again and again, and how it was perfectly jubilant at the prospect of Israel massacring Gazans in return. For the dicks in yesterday’s comments claiming that there’s no evidence of any sort of Hamas atrocities, I can’t even with you. (Gift link Washington Post)

France has issued an arrest warrant for Syria’s Assad O.O — Reuters

Trump lawyers file for mistrial based on “Judge has a law clerk.” Good luck, Trump lawyers. — Daily Beast

They’re “plotting payback” on House Speaker (?) Mike Johnson (??) for “not shutting down the government.” These people are exhausting. (Politico)

Updates from LA Mayor Karen Bass on the 10 freeway apocalypse. Take the bus: It’s free! Los Angeles, I hope you are thanking your lucky stars that you have such a magnificent organizer as mayor. The only other person I can imagine spinning all the plates and moving parts would be Senator Professor Elizabeth Warren. — Emergency LA City

Oh my god, remember Batkid? I once lost an entire workday crying and cheering at my desk watching him fuck up The Riddler, and the entire city of San Francisco was in on it. He’s 15 now, and he’s healthy, and oh my god waaah waah wah crying again. (NPR)

This is an astonishingly poor job by the Washington Post showing Boomers “buying up all the houses.” If they are, a) they’re not 58 (the story’s “median buyer”) and b) each couple profiled in the story sold a house to move into a smaller one. Someone bought that house they sold! Maybe it was me! I bought a big house to hold my four generations of family from a Boomer whose kids were grown and was living in it alone. She then bought a little house in the country in Tennessee. How ... dare she? I mean, I know we love to slag on all the generations, but poor show, Washington Post. (Gift link, don’t know why I bothered, to make you mad I guess.)

Waaaait a minute, fetal alcohol syndrome might be from Dad’s drunk sperm? Holy shit, that would be a whole new thing. (The Conversation)

I … what? “Tom Cotton: Biden Wants To Legalize Weed For ‘White Kids’ And Have Terrorists Sell Menthol Cigs To Blacks.” *Backs away slowly from Tom Cotton.* — Joe.My.God.

Listen, BerryBuzz.com, the whole point of baked brie is that you just put jelly on top and bake it, not “do 15 steps to strawberries” and then bake it again. And yet … I’m gonna need to roast those strawberries. For something else, definitely, like I said, baked brie is jelly.

The bad job interview. It was fairly bad, but I’ve had at least three worse just on my own, clickbait headline. Let’s start with the publisher of the Colorado Springs Independent who said I was “too confident” and a “bad listener” because I asked him “I’m so fascinated!” followup questions while he stream-of-consciousness-blathered for up to 30 minutes at a clip with a finger up his nostril to the second knuckle the whole time. He ended up saying I didn’t have enough experience (17 years in newspapers) and then hired a 24-year-old man. Yeah, he doesn’t get my anonymity anymore :) What were yours? (Buzzfeed)

Don’t want to subscribe but want Wonkette to live another day? This here’s a one-time donation button just for you.

And if you’re shopping on Amazon anyway, getting there through this portal will give us a small commission on everything you buy from when you enter until you hit checkout or close tab, whichever comes first.