This Year's CPAC Doesn't Sound Like Very Schlappin' Good Time To Us
This Year's CPAC Doesn't Sound Like Very Schlappin' Good Time To Us
Schlucks for him.
Did you all even know it was CPAC? Have you even put up your CPAC tree?
Yeah, from everything we are reading, nobody knew. Charlie Sykes quotes a Republican operative, who reportedly told NBC News, "Someone said to me, ‘We all wanted an excuse not to go, and [Matt] Schlapp gave it to us’.” Wait, what did Matt Schlapp give them?
Oh yeah. That's right. That old scandal. " The Pummel In The Junkle," we think they're calling it. ALLEGEDLY.
J/K we just made up "Pummel In The Junkle" and now we will never stop laughing at our own joke.
Go anywhere on the internet right now, and you're liable to find either pornography AND/OR people talking about how CPAC is gonna suck donkey dick this year because nobody's going AND/OR Matt Schlapp bitching that it's other people's fault and not his.
Who's behind the allegations against him? "Fake journalists."
“Fake journalists,” Schlapp said in a recent interview, are “pushing this leftist agenda and lying, and I'm a victim of that, right? This media will take any charge and run with it if they can destroy a Republican or a Trump supporter or conservative. That’s what we have in this country.”
Yeah, yep, you betcha. They all have allegations that they groped male Herschel Walker campaign staffers, that's what the media says about all the Republicans and Trump supporters.
Fox News is paying zero attention to CPAC this year. The Daily Beast notes that Schlapp, whom Fox is also ignoring personally, is having to really swim around in the fever dumps of rightwing media to find attention for CPAC. And everybody who's anybody is skipping it, sounds like.
Ron DeSantis? Not marching his sexy thigh-high platform Ugg construction boots to CPAC.
Mike Pence? Not borrowing Ron DeSantis's sexy thigh-high platform Ugg construction boots to march to CPAC.
Kevin McCarthy? Not borrowing Ron DeSantis's ... you get it.
Mitch McConnell? LOL obviously not.
Donald Trump: ATTENDING.
Nikki Haley: ATTENDING.
Ew.
Way to scrape the bottom of the barrel, Schlappy Schquirrel.
Have the weekend you deserve, Matt Schlapp.
OPEN THREAD.
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But once you're a naturalized American a-hole, it's open season, right?
Badge of honor for Mr. C.