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Helen's avatar

Democrats! This was years ago! Wonkette must investigate and see what has happened since!

Cos from this video eating bacon is flat out Racist!

We can't be! Quick, let's organise a Bacon Boycott!

Oh, wait. It's PETA.

Those nuts? Nah, fugeddit about it. That bacon smells so good. Can't wait to eat it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyAFNV4Afgw

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Helen's avatar

Pigs are dirty smelly animals. North Carolina, what a shithole. Who'd live there?

We're eating pork. Did you get the organic farm raised?

Well. you need more money to make some ethical choices.

Why do we eat pigs anyway? The Bible says not to.

We don't care about those old stupid laws. We can give ourselves permission.

Jews still don't eat pork.

Well, that's different. We're not anti Semitic, so we don't criticise their choice of food.

We don't eat cats and dogs, tho.

God no. They're our dear sweet pets. That was a shitty accusation against those poor immigrants.

Could they give themselves permission?

No. We'll tell them they can't now they're here in our country.

Why not?

We just don't. It's wrong, that's all.

But it's not wrong to eat pigs?

No that's okay. And North Carolina's still a smelly shithole. Really stupid people there.

Doesn't bother me. I don't live there. Let's eat this pork pie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pqDjfHuS_Y

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Cakes We Like's avatar

Well, now you do. It's good to keep learning new stuff.

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Helen's avatar

I wrote this poem after my first stay in Rajasthan. You're welcome.

LUCKY

When you find

a dollar

on the street

you must buy

a cupful of dried beans

black as a beggar's eyes

and a single onion

the color of the desert sand

flood it with water from a convenient tap

and simmer with domesticated lightning.

Then eat it slowly

with deep gratitude

at the richness

of the Universe.

We are at the Masque of the Red Death and a robed figure is among the dancers........

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Teresa Paul Daie's avatar

Cape Breton Nova Scotia has a pork pie that is basically butter shortbread date and maple frosting. Even though I haven’t lived there for years all holidays include these delicious treats.

https://my-mothers-cook-books.ca/2021/12/21/the-making-of-cape-breton-pork-pies/

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Goonemeritus's avatar

Every time I encounter piccalilli I think of the Honeymooner episode where Norton asks Ralph " Ralphie, do you have any piccalilli or chow chow"? Growing up I didn't know what either was but I would regularly ask my brothers to pass it when we were at table.

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Charles in San Diego's avatar

I need to make piccalilli, I think I would like it, but I am a little bit cauliflower averse.

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Cakes We Like's avatar

I don't think you'll notice much cauliflower taste what with the mustard and other spices.

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BUZZME's avatar

My grandmother always used beef tallow in her pasties. I just never realized that she was making a hot water crust. It was always the pasty dough recipe.

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Charles in San Diego's avatar

The best American-style cake I ever had was brought to a lecture event by a Naval officer. He had it made by the ship's cook, and the buttercream was made with lard instead of crisco. It was amazing!

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

If you like savory pies, this guy's channel is a treat:

https://www.youtube.com/@JohnKirkwoodProFoodHomemade

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agony's avatar

I've been following him for years. Not only good food explained in an understandable way that you feel you can do yourself, but his voice is so calming.

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AthenaH2SO4's avatar

Right?! It's like, "please explain recipes to me, cheerful English grandpa!". He must have been fantastic at bedtime stories.

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Larry Schmitt's avatar

Prayer from the left side: "Please let it be chocolate pudding." Prayer from the right: "Please, just a little stroke."

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:uayevtgtbwot25zhocjzb6lv/bafkreia4tikkthv4yfervhsc4a5fj2zmbsw3kqdid6hybidp767t4wwul4@jpeg

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Linda1961 is woke and proud's avatar

Enjoyed reading this, Cakes, although it's too complicated for me to try. Reading the history behind any type of food is a fun read. Thanks!

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Our Wonk -Photogs out there may be interested in the Sally Mann profile in the Guardian this morning. She is 74 and has a retrospective photo album coming out this week.

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2009/sep/09/photography-sally-mann-best-shot

One thing they neglect to show, despite talking about it quite a bit, is Mann's most famous photograph, "The Perfect Tomato." Understandable. It's a full-nude photo of her oldest but still prepubescent daughter, pirouetting on a table, and the Interwebs are touchy about such things. The Guggenheim, however, can get away with it:

https://www.guggenheim.org/artwork/10396

I kinda think that the bulk of the controversy for Immediate Family stems from this one photo, and its seemingly pedophilic title. No, Mann's daughter is not the "Tomato" referred to. This photograph was unplanned, taken during a break, when the girl kept onto the table to do a pirouette in a bit of youthful exuberance. It happened so fast that Mann did not have time to adjust the focus or exposure or even properly steady the camera. This, everything in the picture is badly exposed, blurred, and a bit out of focus...except for that one lonely tomato in the foreground, which is absolutely perfect.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I can see this. It's beautiful.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Uh, shit, I was hoping this'd take longer

"72 all out"

AHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

Fuck you, Saffers.

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Saviour of Bread's avatar

Afternoon spuggers, just watched Ireland v Kiwistan, I was sweating on the top line of my bingo card. I had “brawny ballerina”, “marmalised” and “covered in claret”. Fortunately Ruby Tui came through by speaking in Samoan.

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C&A Bongo Man's avatar

Don't give Fukui any ideas.

======

Police in the Czech Republic have finally arrested the driver of a Formula 1-type racing car which had been spotted on the motorway on numerous occasions since 2019.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g7xl4p53ko

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Charles in San Diego's avatar

From the article, I didn't see that he was driving too fast or otherwise in a reckless manner. Here in SoCal you often see beautiful antique cars out for a spin, and they are in no way road-worthy in the modern sense. They have special licenses, of course. Maybe the Czech Republic doesn't have a legal way to drive special cars?

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I'll admit to driving the SR1 on the road. Not often. But it's hilarious.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

I've no rear mirror, just the sides. Also I have to shut it down at red lights or I'll get the water or oil temp lights come on. I don't bother belting or wearing the race suit.

So I can sit at a red light with the engine off, watch the pattern, turn the ignition on, fire the engine when I *think* the lights are going to change, and wait. And wait. It's just seconds but feels like forever. I have the car in first and 4K on the clock for revs.

Green.

Good bye. Careful lift, feather the throttle, get the catch and now I can full throttle and shift. 0-60 in 3.1. BYE! And just keep going. I don't know how fast I'm going; the car doesn't have a speedo or anything. I know it's fast though because things start to blur a little. That means I'm near or above 100.

It's so illegal. Back to the airport.

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Alpaca22's avatar

Would this work with gluten free flour?

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Cakes We Like's avatar

The gluten is pretty important for creating a robust crust. If you've got a good replacement flour that will hold up then I don't see any reason why you couldn't use it here.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

No, that causes Limbaugh Buboes and woodworker's elbow.

edit: seriously. Use xanthan gum or some binder or something. Maybe even a panade. I like a bit of milk with panko. You need thickener if you're using gluten free.

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Alpaca22's avatar

my GF flour has xanthum gum in it

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

That's good GF flour then!

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Smoke O'Possum's avatar

You can get a bed case of the walking cricks if you're not careful.

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FukuiSanYesOta's avatar

Back off, Miller-summoner. I'm just trying to help.

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Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Also, I saw the following in the grocer that does not carry RC Cola, until now, just one kind, one ABOMINATION! https://www.kdpproductfacts.com/product/a0eWP000000uQ4fYAE/rc-cola-zero-sugar-12-fl-oz-us

R. I.P. Diet Rite soda.

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Charles in San Diego's avatar

Both sweetened with aspartame. Maybe its just the same thing repackaged?

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