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Thursdays with Tina: I Work with What I Got Edition
Wonkette's weekly service to our readers: Translating Tina Brown's Thursday column in the Washington Post. We understand it so that you don't have to.
Tina saysTina meansNew Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey's gay declaration of independence, when he advanced downstage to muse about his inner turmoil, brought an oddly Shakespearean turn to the national soap opera. The difference is that when Shakespeare's Richard III goes on about what it's like to be a hunchback, he's talking only to himself. That's what a soliloquy is -- a character's inmost thoughts, overheard only by the audience.That's right, I think you're idiots.His thoughts are no longer inmost. They're outmost.I am so fucking clever I can't stand it. At the very least, I'm smarter than you.. . . the retro aroma of old-fashioned, patronage-filled Jersey politics. . .This Jersey-smells joke required by law.Of course, the candor of McGreevey's speech was deeply evasive. . .When you you describe something with two words that mean the opposite thing, that makes you sound deep. I learned that at The New Yorker, a magazine I used to edit.
Now being gay is a shining shield. It's dignified.I have never heard of Queer Eye, or of Matthew Shepard, for that matter."I am a gay American," McGreevey said, with no less pride than he might have said, "I am an Irish American."Aren't you glad you have me to make this kind of complicated reference more intelligable?You never would have come up with that "gay American"/"Irish American" thing on your own. Did I mention that I'm smarter than you?It brings to mind an aspect of the Clintons' marital drama.Again, aren't you glad I make these subtle connections? I'm pretty sure no one has made this comparison yet.Before he scaled the Golan Heights...This joke, also: Completely original. Am I good or am I good?For all our talk of honesty, we are still not honest enough for the real thing.Me being deep again. God, I'm good. I'm just going to go and stare at myself in the mirror for awhile. . .