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Thursdays with Tina: Should We Just Call It "Fridays with Tina" From Now On? Edition
The material was, to say the least, rich. We're sorry we're late.
Tina-speakWhat it meansJon Bon Jovi's last big gig was in front of 70,000 people at Giants Stadium, but on Monday night in Manhattan he was playing a dining room.Where am I?Eighty big-ticket Democrats from Wall Street and the entertainment world got to mingle over cocktails with the front-runner. ("My advice to you, senator: Stay strong!") .Front-runner mingling of big tickets! Like Lotto! What am I talking about again? ("Note to self: Keep it together. Keep it together.") Bon Jovi, all in black and accompanied by a slim brunette on a sawing, melancholy violin. . .First the cackling tables at Michael's, now the sad violins! Aiieeee. . . Keep it together. Keep it together.Barry McGuire used to sing it in a histrionic testosterone croak that summed up everything humorless and earnest about the hippie protest movement. . .OK, hormones. On safer ground here. Testosterone will lower your voice and give you the urge to make your own leather belts. Trust me.Sen. Kerry. . . waited for his turn at the mike with eyes half-closed, either from reverie or exhaustion, inhaling imminent nomination.Have you ever really looked at your hand?
Everything he said . . . left me with a vague longing for Howard Dean's scream (or perhaps just for McGuire's growling version of the song, which had that ticked-off Deaniac edge).
Here's the other thing about testosterone: It will increase your sex drive.
So maybe it's good news for the Democrats, after all, that Ralph Nader decided to run.Oh, I didn't like where that column was going. I'll start a new one.John Edwards makes a pleasant sparring partner, but he's so invested in niceness his boxing gloves are pillows.Mmmm. . . forbidden testosterone. . .In an era when every politician's naked ego is muffled by euphemism. . .Mmmm. . . naked egos. . .. . . his bloody-minded announcement was the political version of unprotected sex.. . . Mmmmmm. . .Crazy alpha-men in their waning years have a miserable time out of the limelight.OK, wait. What was I saying?Once Dean had exited left, Nader could go on "Meet the Press" and have his great Viagra moment.. . . Mmmmmm. . .Now the senator can make sensible speeches but with the aura of danger, of Caesar entering the capitol with Cassius behind a pillar.. . . Entering. . . pillar. . . Yes, yes. . .[Kerry] has already proved that he comes vibrantly alive only when he is on edge. . .Yes!Of course there is always the small matter of George W. Bush. In recent weeks the president had deflated inside his inflatable flight suit.So much for the afterglow.