"Tight Hole Operations": Jeff Gannon's Response

Last week, we gave you the inside scoop on Dick Cheney's " tight hole operations ." And yesterday, we shared with you the ten questions about "tight hole operations" that we submitted to Jeff Gannon . We know that the suspense over what he wrote in response is killing you -- so here it is:

Your questions are funnier than any answer I could give. I do appreciate the opportunity, however. Please keep in touch, Jeff Gannon .

Yes, we're as disappointed as you are by Gannon's gracious, good-humored, but non-humorous response. What are we going to do now?

We'll do what we do best here at Wonkette: make stuff up!

After the jump, our manufactured responses to the "tight hole operations" questions we posed to Jeff Gannon.

Okay, here are our made-up responses to the 10 questions about "tight hole operations" that we posed to Jeff Gannon. Remember -- these are not actual answers from Gannon, but just our speculation as to what he might have written in response.

1. Is it true that you have engaged in "tight hole operations" -- with men?

Yes.

2. Do you believe the rumors of Vice President Dick Cheney's involvement in "tight hole operations"?

No. Would you sleep with that man?

3. What do you think of the rumor that Dick Cheney may have engaged in "tight hole operations" with Pamela Willeford?

I agree with you guys : "We just can