Brace yourselves, ladies, for Tim Pool is goin’ a courtin’!
On his show Tuesday, Pool announced that he would be stepping back from full-time content producing and only doing his morning show. Now, this certainly wouldn’t be because all of those sweet, sweet Russian funds dried up. Definitely not! No, he just has other things he wants to do. Like, for instance, “weekday sunsets.”
Be forewarned, you may need some Kleenex.
It might also give him a much needed opportunity to wash that hat, as the aforementioned Kleenex was necessary to cover your mouth when you gag thinking of what that has to smell like at this point.
Pool shared another reason why he is stepping down that is definitely not because he ran out of rubles: he wants to spend more time with the family he doesn’t have.
He got a little vulnerable and shared that it’s really starting to get to him that people frequently point out his hypocrisy by noting that he does not have a wife or children. This is a problem he imagines will be solved by getting himself that wife and children, instead of taking the easy route and just not being a misogynistic asshole.
The gist here is that he’s very stressed from pushing so hard to put his terrible ideas out into the world, and sometimes the time comes when we “finally make the decision that maybe we should just take care of ourselves and stop pushing as hard as we can to the point where our heads are going to explode and our eyes pop out of our heads.”
“We're at a point where I don't want to put my family at risk and there's limited things I'm willing to say, because of the psychopaths who threaten us every single day and the very serious threats that we do receive almost every single day,” he added. I assume that about 80 percent of those threats are threats to remove the beanie, but OK.
“So that being said, it's kind of the weirdest way to announce that I'm pursuing my family life. To the best of my abilities,” he explained. “And I will stress, too, one of the most frustrating, frustrating things about you know, comments? For instance, I don't have to read the comments. I know that half of them are just stupid and half of them are great, but it really does sting, when, for the past several years, there are people saying ‘Ha ha Tim you, don't have any children, why aren't you married?’“
Yeah, because when you go around talking about how women are bad for not getting married at 18 and being housewives instead of having careers (but only because he is certain they would all be happier that way), you sound like a giant hypocrite for not living that 1950s cosplay life yourself.
Of course, he would disagree.
“And the reality is it’s because I'm sacrificing to try and make this work and produce something that think is valuable to [terrible] people. And it comes to a point where I said, why should I when I should just do what what any good man would do and have my family?”
Now, I have (unfortunately) seen way too much “90 Day Fiancé: Before The 90 Days” in the last few weeks to say straight out that there is no one out there who would settle for Tim Pool. (And I’m not even just talking about the ones who are looking for a green card — there are some truly wacky/desperate American ladies out there as well.)
That being said, Pool has spent the last several years ranting in his basement and teaching other men to be as repulsive as he is, which makes him kind of the rat king of being a repulsive, misogynistic, Trump supporter. Sorry, but young men aren’t not having sex because of feminism or because they have careers or because of “hypergamy” or because of dating apps — it’s because they listen to men like Tim Pool and Donald Trump and Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan and Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro and all these other men who are incredibly repulsive to women, and then they emulate them. They spend time on message boards and on Discord servers coming up with 19 billion bizarre and pseudoscientific reasons for why they can’t find love, reasons other than “we have bad personalities and weird beliefs about the world.”
Pool, you may recall, once spent a good deal of time talking about how feminism has made it so he can’t get a date. He started out by suggesting that, really, it’s women who are being hurt the most by all of this — indulging in the traditional incel fantasy of women over 30 regretting not having gotten married at 18 and crying out into the night “Where have all the good men gone!” while sobbing into their cat’s fur. But soon he admitted that he was the real victim in all of this.
After complaining about how his last relationship failed because the woman he was with also cared about her own career and how people in rural areas were doing things right by getting married and having kids, right-wing female influencer The Redheaded Libertarian suggested that what he needed to find was a rural woman who wants to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.
This seems like a great option for him, especially since someone who was used to the smell of a barn would be more able to tolerate what we must assume is the sweaty, putrid smell of the hat he refuses to take off ever.
“Here’s the challenge with that,” he explained. “My perspective, personality, what I find attractive are all based on liberal, urban sensibilities. And so most of the women in that space are going to be fiercely independent careerists and not necessarily compatible.”
Oh.
You know, the interesting thing about people like Tim Pool is that, for all their talk, they have absolutely no interest in the women they keep insisting all women need to be like. Ben Shapiro, for instance, married a doctor — a fact you would only know if you listened to him for more than 12 seconds, as that is about as long as he can go without mentioning his doctor wife.
So! How many women with “liberal, urban sensibilities” want to give up their independence and careers in order to be Tim Pool’s Stepford Wife? Probably none!
Perhaps he should lower his standards and stop being so picky — surely that JustPearlyThings lady who thinks women shouldn’t be allowed to vote would be down.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
Meme on twitter:
McDonalds announces new McFelon Meal with tiny fries and a small pickle.
I've turned fifty this year. Now in the grand scheme of time, that's not that old. But psychic crimefighting really wears a body down.
So my advice to young men (and women) as always is this:
Make friends. Have good male friends. Have good female friends. If you can maintain good, meaningful friendships, you can maintain relationships.
Apologize when you're wrong. Admit your mistakes. Make amends. Learn.
When people come to you complaining or crying about bad times, listen to them. Try and determine if they just want someone to listen, if they want your advice, or if they just want a hug. If you're not sure, ask them if you can do anything.
When it's your turn to cry or complain, let them sit with you.
When you find a friend you realize you want to spend every day with and don't want them to leave at the end of the night, ask them if they feel the same way. If they do, then start dating. Marry a good friend. One day you'll both be too tired to have a passionate night, so make sure you can collapse on the couch together in silence comfortably.
If you're dividing up household chores, there is no woman's work. There is no men's work. It's all work. Do what you can do to keep the EPA from condemning your house as a Superfund site.
Rescue a dog at least once to learn about unconditional love. Rescue a cat a least once to learn about consent.
Start saving for retirement early. You maybe be nineteen and think you're immortal, but trust me, fifty happens sooner than you were expecting and I'm sure 68 will be here even faster.
Enjoy your children. Enjoy the memories you make. They'll be gone sooner than you think. If you don't have children, enjoy being the cool aunt or uncle or adopted family role to your siblings' or friends' kids.
Get older, but never grow up and lose your sense of wonder and curiosity. Never stop learning. None of were born perfect and none of us will attain perfection in our short lives. There's always room for growth.
Life is too short for rage and anger. Life is too short to not be kind. We're all hurdling through space on a rock in a universe we can't comprehend and over which we have no control. Try and be nice to the other passengers because it's terrifying at times.
When you die, make sure everyone you knew has a funny story about you that makes everyone else laugh at your funeral. Live the sort of life that makes everybody wish there's an afterlife so they get to have a drink with you again.