Time To Defund Your Public School! Tabs, Thurs., March 13, 2025
Morning news roundup and things to read!
Explaining the House’s funding bill. It has something to do with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage wearing each other’s faces. House Democrats actually all voted (except one schmuck) against it, and then they yelled at the Senate like so:
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY): “It [the bill] is not something we could ever support. House Democrats will not be complicit in the Republican effort to hurt the American people.”
Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-CT), ranking Appropriations Committee member: “This is Republican leadership handing over the keys of the government, and a blank check to Elon Musk and to President Trump.”
Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA): “It [Senate Democratic votes] would be a capitulation to the Trump style of democracy, which is the movement of democracy to dictatorship.”
Rep. Dan Goldman (D-NY): “If the government shuts down with a Republican House, Republican Senate and Republican president, it will be solely because the Republicans have moved forward with a terrible, partisan, take-it-or-leave-it bill.”
What did the Senate do? Presumably I will find out before I finish writing this tabs! (The Fucking News)
What the Senate did, if they ever fucking vote on it before I turn this goddamn laptop and go to bed, goes here!
Time to defund your public school! (CNN)
Trump’s economic excuses: stupid and lying! (Paul Krugman)
The FBI is demanding Citibank freeze accounts for Habitat for Humanity, United Way, New York state tax department, and a bunch of statewide climate investment banks, like for instance Michigan Saves. So that’s are you fucking kidding me! (Citibank filing)
Child genital exams without a parent’s consent, West Virginia? “It also says that all intersex people are ‘either male or female’ but does not give a basis for assigning a sex to them.” Oh, word? Word. (LGBTQ Nation)
Six federal agencies are investigating the two trans girl athletes in Maine. (Pro Publica)
I have not even a single clue what this means or how it would work, but the Department of Housing and Urban Development wants to crypto … ??? (Pro Publica)
Sacrificing “critical safety functions” at the FAA, upside down smile emoji. (The Atlantic archive link)
Tesla owners, Polestar will give you $20,000 to not be a Tesla owner anymore. (Polestar)
Faine Greenwood went to Canada’s Gaspe Peninsula and would like to show us all the pictures. We are all super fucking sorry about all this, Canada! (Little Flying Robots)
That’s right I’m still hounding you to buy the pizzas. Detroit Public Schools is working on the assumption we’ll have budget cuts next year of between $30 and $80 million for just our district. You help me fund the girls’ Detroit public elementary school, and I help you eat delicious fucking pizza, mailed right to your door. Buy the fucking pizzas everybody. They’ll FedEx em right to your door. Pizzas. (Pizzas.) This motherfucking pizza ad will be up all month.
Here is where you give Wonkette all your extra money with Paypal.
This is the button for giving us all your extra money with Venmo. It’s ventabulous!
Wonkette IMPEACH and HELL. NO. sale continues at Wonkette Bazaar!
What’s do floofy mice have to do with prehistoric pachyderms? I’ve got your explainer here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/mammoth-mice
And your efficient meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/f47a725d-1e03-4837-9287-6431b4f504a1?utm_source=share
Until I looked, I didn’t realize Polestar was owned by Volvo. I wonder if they have the same excellent safety features. As I get older and realize how many terrible drivers we share the road with, that consideration has become important me.
In an event, I hope they clean Tesla’s clock.