Happy Weekend!
Today is both National Fetch Day and Sweetest Day, so do with that information what you will! I guess you’re supposed to play fetch, not say it, but I figure you can do both, and since I don’t have a dog, I will only do the latter.
This week, since I brought it up yesterday, your first present is a “testimony” from an “ex-witch” about how OCTOBER IS CHAOS. Which, you know, fair.
But also every month is chaos.
Your next present is a batshit television show from my childhood called Papa Beaver’s Storytime, that I hope (fingers crossed!) is the episode where someone exclaims “But donkeys can’t wear trousers!,” because I have been looking for that for years at this point.
Also too — I am running low on pet pics! So please send me yours with the subject line PET PICS (or I will not see it) to robyn@wonkette.com. Make sure that they are in landscape (wide not tall) and your pet can be a real celebrity! Hooray!
And last but not least, we have a Stairway to Stardom joint, with some girl who has unfortunate hair singing a medley of “Let Me Entertain You” and “You Light Up My Life,” two songs that literally no one ever would have thought to combine.
Have you been struck with a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, we are on Substack now so you can just go ahead and click subscribe! Click click click!!
Or if you’d just like to donate just once …
You can also join our Patreon, or buy our merch.
You can even send us paper checks to:
Wonkette
PO Box 38273
Detroit MI 48238
Talk amongst yourselves!




Laundry is in the oven and the turkey is in the wash. Goona be a day!
I'm out for the day. Hubs is up which means he will be out in the kitchen talking to me soon. Laters!