America's greatest president was George H.W. Bush (the old one), because he bombed a lot of Mexicans somewhere, Panama maybe? Oh and one time he had a war in Iraq, but that was lame because it only lasted a few days and didn't kill a million people and there was no Abu Ghraib torture pornography. Also, he said "read my lips," which is gross, and then he raised taxes a little teeny tiny bit on the billionaires even though mostly they had their taxes cut. So, in many ways, George H.W. Bush was a dismal failure, just like the new U.S. Navy Aircraft Carrier George H.W. Bush, which has no working toilets for like 5,000 dudes and some ladies too, who are holding it in so long they're having "health problems."