Wisconsin Idiot Says Constituents Too Scared To Go To New York, Awww Bless Their MAGA Hearts

Love to call our congressman and tell him we're scared of going to New York City.

Oh hey kids, y'all hear the late breaking news that Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg just sued the everloving fuck out of Jim Jordan for GO THE FUCK AWAY AND TAKE YOUR IRRELEVANT WINGNUT TWO-BIT SHOW TRIAL DOG-AND-PONY REACHAROUND PARTY FOR THE BENEFIT OF PROTECTING YOUR CRIME BOSS DONALD TRUMP AWAY FROM MY FUCKING LOCAL JURISDICTION AND STOP FUCKING WITH MY TRUMP INVESTIGATION?

 He did that. We are certain we'll have more to say about it once we've read the lawsuit.

Here is how Newsmax is reporting on the development:

“Newsmax's chyron on Alvin Bragg's lawsuit against Jim Jordan: D.A. ALVIN BRAGG SUES TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS CASE AGAINST FORMER PRESIDENT TRUMP”

— Justin Baragona (@Justin Baragona) 1681241914 

"To avoid answering questions about his case against former President Trump." As if Jim Jordan has the standing to ask Alvin Bragg the time of day.

 Earlier today, Republican Rep. Tom Tiffany of Wisconsin was on the Maria Bartiromo Frightened Muppet Funtimes Conspiracy Lies Hour and he told the most curious story. Tiffany sits on Jordan's House Judiciary Committee, the one traveling to New York to do the dog-and-pony show trial of Alvin Bragg.

And he just needed Bartiromo to know that everybody "out here in Wisconsin" is calling him all the time and saying they don't know if they want to go to New York City, because it's "not safe." You know how people are always calling their congressman to tell them they're scared to go to New York.

“Republican Rep. Tom Tiffany: "I hear from people regularly out here in Wisconsin, they're like, I don't know if I want to go to New York City right now because it's not safe."”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1681215939 

LOL weirdo.

If you need context, it is that one of the primary Republican talking points ever since Bragg indicted Donald Trump has been that WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH NEW YORK CITY IS SO SCARY WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHY WON'T ALVIN BRAGG GO AFTER THE REAL CRIMINALS WHO SCARE US WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DOGWHISTLE THEY MEAN BLACK PEOPLE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AND OTHER MINORITIES WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Like so:

 Giphy 

Because they are very tough and strong, but also very frightened of the big city.

So when Tiffany goes on the Maria Bartiromo show and tells the extremely unlikely story that all the MAGA wusses from Wisconsin's Seventh District — it's like the whole northern half of the state, nobody lives there — are calling him and saying they're scared to go to New York City, we have one thing to say in reply, and it is that Phantom Of The Opera is closing this week after 35 years anyway, so we are not quite sure what else white MAGA fuckwit losers from northern Wisconsin need to go to New York for anyway.

OPEN THREAD.

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