Tommy Tuberville Steals 'Senate's Dumbest Republican' Trophy, Flings It In Own End Zone

BLESS.

We held out for the longest time, watching folks we like and respect, like the Lawyers, Guns and Money blog and Molly Jong-Fast , declare that Ron Johnson was not the Senate's Dumbest Republican anymore, it was Tommy Tuberville. And look, we knew it too. We just weren't ready. We were content to be like "LOL Tubs got a case of the foo'baw brain again."

It felt like Ron Johnson's abject stupidity (and willingness to be a witting Russian stooge and the worst COVID conspiracy theorist in the Senate) just mattered more.

And maybe it still does. But he's gonna have to get a new title.

Tubs, tell us about Russia and Ukraine.

Tuberville discussed the escalating tensions between Russia and Ukraine. He claims that a large part of Vladimir Putin’s desire for further annexation of Ukrainian land is due to the amount of farmland in Ukraine.

“He can’t feed his people,” Tuberville said. “It’s a communist country, so he can’t feed his people, so they need more farmland.”

Fuckin' communists can't find any fuckin' farmland. Gotta go to Ukraine and get some fuckin' farmland. He's Tubs and he approves this message.

GOP Senator Bill Hagerty, one of the two Mensa softball team alternates to represent the great state of Tennessee, which likes to vote Mensa softball team alternates into the Senate, took a turn yesterday as well.

Unprovoked, Ukraine is under attack from a brutal Russian Dictator. As Americans, we pray for the people of Ukraine. The U.S. must demonstrate our strength by reclaiming our energy independence and securing our southern border.

— Bill Hagerty (@Bill Hagerty) 1645734288 

We must give Putin what he deserves by HEY Y'ALL! Fuck all them immigrants, right? Right? Hashtag what would Jesus do hashtag let's go Brandon? He's Bill and he approves this message.

It's unfair only one person is allowed to hold the "Senate's Dumbest Republican" trophy at a time. We should just give them all participation trophies.

Anyway, good try, Bill Hagerty. But we give up. It's Tuberville. It just is.

[ 1819 News ]

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