Too Emotional To Be King. Tabs, Mon., June 8, 2026

Look who didn't type 2016!

Jun 08, 2026

Hola, how is it hanging, everyone! Time for tabs!

Surely we will be saying more about this today, but wow, did you see Donald Trump looking all red and wet and close to death absolutely screaming at Kristen Welker on Meet The Press because she kept asking for one scintilla of evidence that the 2020 election had been stolen, or that California is being rigged right now? Oh man, that two-bit dictator loser LOST IT. Credit to Welker for keeping going, though as always we note that it is permissible to use the words “lie” and “liar.” Anyway, he stormed off, big tantrum, too emotional to be king.

Biggest little bitch in the whole wide world.

Haha, Trump’s loser bouncy house wrestling birthday might get struck by lightning. [Bloody Elbow]

Can you imagine the audacity of that ugly-skinned pig Pete Hegseth setting foot in Europe, surrounded by a continent full of his superiors, and criticizing them for how they handle their business? On D-Day? That little boy was lied to, clearly, about how he is a special child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, etc. [Guardian / France 24]

While all the Albanian citizens loudly scream that they don’t want those dead-eyed trash holes Jared and Ivanka building their shit resort on an Albanian island, the European Union is also warning Albania that Jared and Ivanka’s little project might hurt their chances to get into the EU. Oops. [Politico Europe]

Related, Donald Trump now would like to buy some islands in the Indian Ocean, to punish the UK for refusing to let him use the Diego Garcia military base as a staging ground to lose his stupid Iran war on the first day. [Reuters]

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Wonkette $ machine!

That whole screwworm thing in Texas? The windsock Ag secretary Brooke Rollins says that’s Joe Biden’s fault. [Brooke Rollins on Twitter]

Uh oh, looks like Spencer Pratt will not be making the LA mayoral runoff. RIGGED!

How much is Donald Trump ruining the NBA Finals for New York and for everyone else too, just by attending? So, so much. He ruins everything his fucking breath touches. [AM New York / Yahoo Sports]

The pope went to Madrid to see Bad Bunny this weekend, or something. [Washington Post]

And more about the pope’s historic trip to Spain:

Finally, here is the setlist for The Cure’s show at Primavera Sound in Barcelona this weekend. Seems like it was kind of cool.