via FEMEN So this happened. On Christmas Day, after Pope Francis sang a rousing round of "Happy Birthday, Jesus" from his special balcony on St. Peter's Basilica, a lady who'd forgotten to put on a shirt that day bum-rushed the crowd of people who'd gathered for the party to steal the little plastic Jesus from the nativity scene, with the words "God is woman" inked on her chest. The woman is a member of FEMEN, a super-radical-even-for-us-radical-feminists feminist group who, as far as we can tell, is taking down the patriarchy by being topless in public. We're not sure how that works exactly, but the woman who stole baby Jesus was apparently carrying out the
It was unintentional, but boy do I feel stupid for not knowing. That's ok, I plan to redeem myself with a piece I'm working on about the 7 words you can't say on TV.
Wow, a topless Christmas miracle! I had one as well this year. Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me to spread his word. The following passage transcribes what was told to me.
Hello, and Merry Christmas. I wish for the whole world to share in the peace and joy of the season, and by that I mean THE WHOLE WORLD. You people may be getting a little too concerned with putting the "Christ" in Christmas. I think everybody knows by now that I was born between May 23rd and June 7th. I don't quite remember exactly myself because it was a pretty long time ago and we used a whole different calendar, but let's just say it was somewhat balmy outside. Anyway, the point is, just be nice to each other and go easy on the dogmatic crap, okay?
Oh, and while I'm at it, let's talk about that whole Holy Communion thing. Let me just say, right off the bat ....eeeww! Okay, you guys have gotten the whole thing wrong. Here's the way that happened. We were all having dinner, the thirteen of us and I was in a bad mood. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful member of the trinity but he would rat out his mother if you gave him half a chance. That little pigeon just can't keep his beak shut. Anyway, he had just clued me in that Judas turned on me and that the rest of the boys were all going to deny me, some more than once (I'm looking at you, Peter).
So, I'm getting madder and madder and I just lost it. I stood up and said to all of the guys, "You know what, you can all just eat me! And while your at it, SUCK THIS". Well they misunderstood. I think it was Luke. He's a sweet guy, but a couple of matzo balls short of a soup, if you know what I mean. He's very literal. So, after I was gone the whole thing was blown up out of proportion. I was never talking about Transubstantiation.
Anyway, I would take it as a personal favor if you folks would stop with all of the zombie Jesus eating. It really is a little creepy. Again, Merry Christmas and all of you try to be nice.
It was unintentional, but boy do I feel stupid for not knowing. That's ok, I plan to redeem myself with a piece I'm working on about the 7 words you can't say on TV.
#titsout Don't Shoot.
Her name translates to "Viagra" in English.
Festivus only has airing of <i>grievances</i>.
<i>&quot;they pixelated her tits&quot;</i>
How do you know that just isn&#039;t how she looks? <i>Were you there?</i>
If it does, will it be evidence that there really is a God?
Uhh...Mom?
In this incident, the po-po were all &quot;tits, so GTFO.&quot;
Men could join this movement and participate in these demonstrations too, if they had something to flas...
Oh, wait...
So, are we supposed be outraged or turned on? Because this could go either way right about now.
Maybe she just thought the baby was hungry?
Ahem. Page 3. World of difference.
<i>And yes, you sick pervs, there is video. You&rsquo;re welcome.</i>
Couldn&#039;t see anything good &#039;cause that stupid plastic babby was in the way.
Wow, a topless Christmas miracle! I had one as well this year. Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me to spread his word. The following passage transcribes what was told to me.
Hello, and Merry Christmas. I wish for the whole world to share in the peace and joy of the season, and by that I mean THE WHOLE WORLD. You people may be getting a little too concerned with putting the &quot;Christ&quot; in Christmas. I think everybody knows by now that I was born between May 23rd and June 7th. I don&#039;t quite remember exactly myself because it was a pretty long time ago and we used a whole different calendar, but let&#039;s just say it was somewhat balmy outside. Anyway, the point is, just be nice to each other and go easy on the dogmatic crap, okay?
Oh, and while I&#039;m at it, let&#039;s talk about that whole Holy Communion thing. Let me just say, right off the bat ....eeeww! Okay, you guys have gotten the whole thing wrong. Here&#039;s the way that happened. We were all having dinner, the thirteen of us and I was in a bad mood. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful member of the trinity but he would rat out his mother if you gave him half a chance. That little pigeon just can&#039;t keep his beak shut. Anyway, he had just clued me in that Judas turned on me and that the rest of the boys were all going to deny me, some more than once (I&#039;m looking at you, Peter).
So, I&#039;m getting madder and madder and I just lost it. I stood up and said to all of the guys, &quot;You know what, you can all just eat me! And while your at it, SUCK THIS&quot;. Well they misunderstood. I think it was Luke. He&#039;s a sweet guy, but a couple of matzo balls short of a soup, if you know what I mean. He&#039;s very literal. So, after I was gone the whole thing was blown up out of proportion. I was never talking about Transubstantiation.
Anyway, I would take it as a personal favor if you folks would stop with all of the zombie Jesus eating. It really is a little creepy. Again, Merry Christmas and all of you try to be nice.
So say&#039;th The Lord.
I wonder if this will become a new Christmas tradition?
<i>And yes, you sick pervs...</i>
What -- just because I thought the cop was trying to, you know, <i>stick it</i> to the lady from behind?!
Seriously, I can think of WAY more perv things than that.
Oh shit. I just watched the clip. I had no idea but I guess it&#039;s too obvious a premise.
Now there&#039;s a religion I can believe in. Can&#039;t wait for the sermon on the Mount!