Trudeau Gave Him NOTHING. Tabs, Tues., Feb. 4, 2025
NOTHING.
This is, shall we say, LMAO:
It’s funny because there were already 8,500 “frontline personnel” on the border and the $1.3 billion was announced in December, during Joe Biden’s presidency. Trudeau promised him nothing that either didn’t already exist, or is totally pointless like “fentanyl czar.” Sure, bud. Donald Trump got rolled by both of our immediate neighbors’ heads of state in one day. Who will make him look like the biggest loser today? [Canadian government website / Acyn]
So if you’re keeping score, that’s:
Susan Collins is a coward who’s scared of being primaried by Elon Musk, so she’s decided to sell out American national security to confirm “Russia’s girlfriend” Tulsi Gabbard as DNI. It’s OK, though, Donald Trump and Elon. Musk will have fundamentally bumblefucked the country to death by next Tuesday. Who needs national security when you ain’t got one? [JoeMyGod]
By the way, did y’all see Tulsi Gabbard’s Newsweek op-ed where she basically said she wouldn’t call Edward Snowden a traitor because WAAAAAAAAAAH HILLARY CLINTON AND MITT ROMNEY ARE SO MEAN, CALLED ME NAMES, WAAAAAAAAAH? [Newsweek]
Have you heard about Marco Rubio’s new bigot deputy Darren Beattie, who writes things like “Competent white men must be in charge?” He seems like every other Nazi Trump appointee, we guess! [Rolling Stone]
Two of the federal employee unions — the AFGE and SEIU — are suing to get Elon Musk’s grubby apartheid Nazi paws out of the Treasury’s payment database. [Josh Gerstein on Bluesky]
Trump’s little thug DC US Attorney Ed Martin gonna PROSECUTE anybody who’s bein’ mean to Elon Musk’s little DOGE slumber party of giant-headed 19-year-old unfuckables. Uh oh, guys! Don’t get convicted of “Aggravated Made Fun Of ‘Big Balls’ On The Internet!” It’s totally a law in Trump’s America! [Amanda Moore on Bluesky]
Apparently one of Elon’s weenus incels likes to retweet Nick Fuentes and other neo-Nazis. Huh, what a very surprise shock! [American Prospect]
At my Friday place, I lost my shit at freaks blaming these plane crashes on DEI, and reminded everyone what “DEI” stands for. (It’s an all-purpose bigot word that means “N”-word and also every anti-LGBT and anti-woman slur too! It’s like Smurf.) Come by and read and subscribe and share! [The Moral High Ground]
Beyoncé announced her Cowboy Carter tour yesterday. She’s not going many places but she’s going some! So … Wonk meetup in Paris for Beyoncé? Make it happen, Rebecca! Wait, who said that? [AP]
Do you need to be feeling better about things and reassured that we’re going to keep laughing through all this? Jimmy Kimmel really is doing the best job out there, and oh boy, he had fun with Trump’s idiot world’s dumbest fake trade war last night.
Come back for more stories when we write them!
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Your hed gif info link: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/splish-splash-panda-bath
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/50915b32-cfa3-49c4-b406-f99095875a60?utm_source=share
Mr. Sedagive works at the Wall Street Journal and he reports that yesterday, the question on every editor's mind was "Where can a person safely stash their savings while the Giant Orange Fucktater dismantles the economy." There are no easy answers, and it's apparently stressing them out.
And before you say "They voted for it" the staff at the WSJ are overwhelmingly reality-based (it's the Opinionistas who are viciously insane).