141 Comments
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r m reddicks's avatar

It's alright. ELP took it from a real Doctor. Dr. John.

idiotboy's avatar

Donny and Benny,All you have to do is send the derp signal into the sky and you can have all the oathkeepers you need to protect you. Benny, you might want to vet them pretty well and maybe add a couple of Panthers to keep order if you know what I mean.Your Welcome

SprinkleMagic PartyBuns🥂's avatar

“I don’t feel the need for it quite frankly, but the Secret Service thinks that I need it,” Carson said.

You requested it, dumbass. It's not like the secret service just decided to do this on their own. Also too, they haven't yet decided whether you need it yet. STFU.

ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

Thanks, you just make me laugh good scotch out my nose.

ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

If I admitted that in this case I'm rooting for the bad guys, would that be wrong of me?

Hardly Ideal's avatar

I would've gone with "Mammon" for Trump and "Mumbles" for Carson.

thixotropic jerk's avatar

Are you implying that the GoatSheepers might "accidentally" shoot the very blah guy they were trying to protect? Nooooo, they wouldn't do that now, would they? Fuck yeah they would because dumbshits with guns = bad, bad outcomes.

HogeyeGrex🌻's avatar

This has to go through the Congress? I'm sure they'll get to it right away, after they manage to not shut down the government.

bigshinynosehair's avatar

Two unemployed freeloaders, expecting government handouts.Probably socialists or commies or something.

Doug Langley's avatar

"You don't want him! You want one of us instead!"

NellCote71's avatar

Why bother with a paper mâché substitute?

sillyclucker's avatar

I prefer the simple Loser1 and Loser2.

sillyclucker's avatar

Next thing you know, they're going to want Obamaphones and crab legs.

Takoma DC's avatar

Only a commie-socialist would expect and demand secret service. I mean a pussy-commie-socialist.