Trump Confesses To Crimes He *Might Not* Have Even Done This Time, Stealing Florida Edition!

And that's why all the world's lawyers fight to represent him.

Last night, Donald Trump confessed to using the Justice Department to steal an election. No, not the 2020 election, although he sure did try. Nope, Trump sent an email to his eleventy million followers and the entire media announcing that he stole the 2018 election for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

I was all in for Ron, and he beat Gillum, but after the Race, when votes were being stolen by the corrupt Election process in Broward County, and Ron was going down ten thousand votes a day, along with now-Senator Rick Scott, I sent in the FBI and the U.S. Attorneys, and the ballot theft immediately ended, just prior to them running out of the votes necessary to win. I stopped his Election from being stolen…

And in case there were still some people left in US America who hadn't heard him copping to CRIMES, he belched it out on his janky social media platform, too.

Okay, look ... Trump talks a lot of shit. Plus he ran the leakiest administration in the world. So, let's assume that if there were any truth to this story, we'd have heard about it four years ago. Mediaite transcribed a factcheck from CNN this morning suggesting that what really happened is that in November 2018 Rick Scott screamed and shouted that two big Democratic counties were frauding. Trump contacted his pal Pam Bondi, who was then the Florida attorney general, and she tapped the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, which investigated the matter and found no widespread fraud. But if the DOJ wants to either clarify or launch an investigation, giddyup!

The apparent confession was part of a long, rant, which was unhinged even by the debased Trump standard. Raging at the Murdoch-owned New York Post after it anointed the Florida governor "DeFuture" of the GOP, Trump snarked about "Ron DeSanctimonious, an average REPUBLICAN Governor with great Public Relations, who didn’t have to close up his State, but did, unlike other Republican Governors."

No, no, don't waste brain cells trying to parse it. Just let the filth flow by you, it'll be over soon.

Bragging that he pushed DeSantis over the line in the 2018 gubernatorial primary with his endorsement (true!), Trump claims that he then got Ron "by the 'Star' of the Democrat Party, Andrew Gillum (who was later revealed to be a 'Crack Head'), by having two massive Rallies with tens of thousands of people at each one."

And after all that, DeSantis has the gall to consider a presidential run?

And now, Ron DeSanctimonious is playing games! The Fake News asks him if he’s going to run if President Trump runs, and he says, “I’m only focused on the Governor’s race, I’m not looking into the future.” Well, in terms of loyalty and class, that’s really not the right answer.

The nerve!

 Rolling Stone reports that the former president is actively seeking dirt on DeSantis's personal life — although it's not clear why that old pussygrabber thinks anyone in the GOP would give a flea's fart about sexual assault, much less adultery, if they thought they could get the White House back.

With his rumored 2024 announcement coming as soon as next week, Trump is particularly pissed off about the throat clearing within the GOP that he needs to make way for someone less toxic and undisciplined. Sure he provoked an insurrection, lost the White House and the Senate (probably twice), and saddled the party with such shite candidates that they put up a miserable midterm showing. But the base loves him, so whaddaya gonna do about it, Mitch? 

Trump went to bed mad, and he woke up mad. At 7: 23 a.m., he was already kneecapping another competitor online:

Young Kin (now that’s an interesting take. Sounds Chinese, doesn’t it?) in Virginia couldn’t have won without me. I Endorsed him, did a very big Trump Rally for him telephonically, got MAGA to Vote for him - or he couldn’t have come close to winning. But he knows that, and admits it. Besides, having a hard time with the Dems in Virginia - But he’ll get it done!

Wow, haven't seen that much early-morning racism since, like, January 7, 2021. It's super gross, but probably to be expected since the GOP didn't say one word to criticize him after that gross comment about Elaine Chao.

In summary and in conclusion, LET THEM FIGHT DOT GIF.

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