Trump Didn’t Improvise Manhattan Courtroom Bitch Tantrum. That Was REHEARSED.
He is so unbelievably goddamned stupid.
There were closing arguments in Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial yesterday to determine just how many gabillions of dollars he and his company will have to pay, and how many of his precious riches he will lose. (He has already been adjudicated guilty, extremely.)
Trump was supposed to be shutting his insolent mouth yesterday. (More background on that below if you’re not up to speed.) Instead his lawyer Chris Kise begged the judge to please let Trump talk, pleaaaase? Judge Arthur Engoron said, “Do you promise to just comment on the facts and the law?” Trump just started babbling without making any such promises.
MSNBC legal analyst Lisa Rubin summed it up right nice. Here’s her thread, which we will roll out for you below:
Text:
“This was a political witch hunt; we should receive damages for what they have taken our company through. They have no documents—they have nothing!” The only thing they have, Trump concedes, is the triplex, which was a mistake.
“I am not sure the dollar amount would have been that far off, if you want to know!” But Trump continues, “I am an innocent man. I have been politically persecuted. . . . This statute is vicious.”
“What has happened here is a fraud on ME. . . . The amount of taxes I have paid over this period is close to $300 million. They don’t want me here anymore. I have a problem; they want to make sure I don’t run again.”
Trump goes on — without any interruption from Engoron or her team — and attacks James, accusing her of election interference. “You have your own agenda,” Trump angrily says to Engoron. “You can’t listen for more than one minute!”
Engoron pleads with Kise, “Mr. Kise, please control your client.” Trump nonetheless accuses James of going after him for her political gain, including an allegedly “failed” run for Governor, at which point Engoron shuts it down.
But it’s too late. Everything Trump wanted to say was said. And now, having said it, he has left the courtroom after insisting James should pay him for the havoc she’s wreaked on his company.
Oh my fucking God, Donald, get a grip, and prepare to lose everything you’ve ever worked for lied, cheated, stolen, frauded, crimed for and/or had handed to you by your ugly dead daddy. Also maybe your freedom. But that would be a result of the 91 felony indictments, which are unrelated to this civil case.
The punchline?
Trump rehearsed that pathetic shit. Nikki McCann Ramirez and Asawin Suebsaeng report at Rolling Stone that Trump rehearsed it for DAYS.
Again, he was supposed to be shutting the fuck up. Instead:
Sources told Rolling Stone that Trump had been rehearsing what he thought would be a blistering, dramatic conclusion to the case that will determine the fate of his business empire.
Oh my fucking God he’s so stupid.
Reportedly he told people about it. He tried lines out on them. He was really thinking he had something of value to say.
In addition to the summary in the tweets above, Trump of course called Letitia James racist and whined about Joe Biden trying to “rig” the 2024 election against him. And more!
Trump wanted to use the closing argument to get in a few more jabs, or as one of the people familiar with the matter puts it, he “just wanted to go off on the judge to his face one more time.”
Just so goddamned stupid.
Trump had previously announced he wanted to give part of his own closing arguments like he thought he was going to YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, but Judge Engoron said fuck off on Wednesday because Trump had not indicated that he was willing to follow the rules that apply to the lawyers and everyone else, simple rules like “don’t attack witnesses” and “don’t attack judge.”
[H]e said Trump’s remarks would have to stay within the bounds of “commentary on the relevant, material facts that are in evidence, and application of the relevant law to those facts.”
Trump would not be allowed to introduce new evidence, “comment on irrelevant matters” or “deliver a campaign speech” — or impugn the judge, his staff, the attorney general, her lawyers or the court system, the judge wrote.
Trump’s whinyass lawyers went all whinyass whining that those rules were unfaaaaaaair.
[Trump attorney Chris] Kise termed the restrictions “very unfair.”
“You are not allowing President Trump, who has been wrongfully demeaned and belittled by an out of control, politically motivated attorney general, to speak about the things that must be spoken about,” the attorney wrote.
Aw honey, go eat 10,000 fucks without any condiments.
But Trump ultimately had his say. Trump has always thought he was his own best communicator. We love that delusion of his, he fucks himself straight up his dick with it every single time.
Like so.
Heckuva job, dumbass.
[AP / Rolling Stone]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
Every time the cameras show Trump in court, I am hoping to see him stroke out on live TV; but it keeps not happening, in spite of my most sincere imprecatory prayers. I dunno. I just don't know. I am thinking we might have to give up on the existence of a god.
yeah. best 3 years of his life...