Trump Having Tungsten Threesome With His Two Beautiful Sons

Rounding up the week's Trump financial corruption, fraud, crime, and grifting stories.

Qusay. Uday.

There are a number of stories out there this week that don’t seem to be making the splash they might be making in the first Trump term, much less any other presidential term, and those stories are about Trump grift and financial corruption. Maybe it’s so baked into the idea of handing the country over to Donald Trump, his garbage crime family, and the greedy, dirty pilot fish oligarchs who surround him like they surround any other autocratic king, that at this point many of us just roll our eyes. (Talking about ourselves personally!) And maybe that’s what they want us to do.

But if there’s ever any saving of this country to be done, we reckon we’d better reckon with these things and find a way to tap back into the outrage, especially when we’re talking about a president who thinks affordability is a “Democrat hoax” and that Congress’s half-assed attempt to do something about the country’s housing crisis is a “big yawn.”

Y’all seen how rich Trump and the rest of these fucking bastards are getting while they’re yawning and batting away all these Democrat hoaxes about regular voters who can’t afford food or gas?

The Financial Disclosure

The top line of the story in the New York Times about Trump’s 2025 financial disclosure — which we’re sure includes all the bribes and blood money and hush money with no information held back, you betcha — is that he’s become at least $2 billion richer since going back to the White House. For a man who may or may not have been a real billionaire to start with, that’s a lot!

Out of that, somewhere around $1.4 billion came from his family cryptocurrency scams. Now, unpopular opinion, but if you’re stupid enough to put your money in a Trump crypto venture, you deserve to lose your entire ass, so if Trump got rich by separating MAGA swill from its money, then we just have a lot of other things to spend our time caring about.

Still, wow, corruption!

As the Times notes, a big part of Trump’s big 2025 haul came when the United Arab Emirates bribe-moneyed itself into a stake constituting almost half of World Liberty Financial, the Trump family’s main crypto-scamming outfit. That was “a transaction that blurred the line between foreign policy and private enterprise,” says The Times. Yes, blurred lines, like that rape song by Alan Thicke’s son!

The Times further explains:

Mr. Trump also collected hundreds of millions of dollars from sales of his $TRUMP memecoin and World Liberty’s sale of its own digital tokens.

Yeah, that’s the part we just can’t personally seem to muster up any spirited outrage about. If Cletus felt it was wise to empty his tin can of savings and give it all to Donald Trump’s Get Rich Quick crypto schemes — because the only family really getting rich off Trump crypto is the Trumps — then we don’t care. For instance, the Times cites Trump’s $TRUMP memecoin, which is currently worth 80 percent less than it was last year. Oh my god, his moron followers all lost their dicks on all his crypto scams. Their DICKS. Anyway, what are you making for dinner tonight?

This, though:

His crypto ventures, the report shows, are now some of his most lucrative enterprises, a remarkable turnabout for a man who once slammed crypto as a haven for drug dealers and scammers.

The president’s finances, which had been something of a mystery, highlight a conflict in his crypto business: Mr. Trump is a major crypto industry operator and its top policymaker.

Maybe there was an “a ha!” moment when Trump looked in the mirror and remembered he was a drug dealer and scammer.

The Times mentions Trump family real estate branding deals with Qatar and Saudi Arabia and Vietnam and India and Turkey and Indonesia and Romania that sent somewhere in the neighborhood of $55 million the Trump family’s way, including deals with the first two countries that specifically earned $14 million for Trump.

He of course is also making millions from his golf clubs, and we are sure there is no money laundering there.

Wow, with all this money, he can afford to pay E. Jean Carroll the money he owes her after that case where Trump was adjudicated as a rapist! (If you’ll remember, the Supreme Court just told Trump to pound sand in his latest begging for them to overturn the judgments he owes Carroll. Now he’s trying to find new ways to avoid paying her.)

There’s also this extremely weird gigantic loan from Charles Schwab that Trump took out last year in the disclosure, more than $50 million, but nobody actually knows exactly how much, nor for what. (It’s not a mortgage.) Did the bill come due from one of America’s enemies that’s always helping Trump steal elections or something? Unclear! But anyway, that’s there too. Ka-ching!

But don’t worry, any getting rich by Donald Trump while being president is just a totally normal thing that happens, and everything is on the up-and-up. As he told reporters Wednesday, “I purposely, I never speak to any of the people that run the money.” Exactly. Also he doesn’t care about conflicts of interest — so many of them! — and he’s pretty sure nobody else does either, which, at this point in America’s decline, maybe he’s right, nobody does. “You know why I’m profiting? Because the stock market is going up.” Not sure how that affects his crypto scam businesses or his licensing deals, but fuck it.

Elect a criminal oligarch, get criminal oligarch behavior.

Speaking of, let’s talk about Tungsten!

Tungsten?

Tungsten!

Because when you think of Donald Trump and his sons, you think of two things: tungsten and threesomes.

Tungsten is this thing, much like crypto, that we are 100 percent confident Trump could not explain in complete sentences even if you were threatening to withhold his Big Macs or release the Epstein Files.

But Trump, Trump spawn, American oligarchs — really, it helps to look at him like Putin and Putin’s inner circle — and some businessmen from Kazakhstan inked a huge tungsten mining deal last year, and who’s going to make millions? The headline in the New York Times suggests Uday and Qusay, AKA the other participants in the “threesome.” Also some other oligarchs, and their oligarch spawn!

Tungsten, as the Times explains, is “a metal that the United States desperately needs for the production of missile warheads, fighter jets, computer chips and other critical goods.” A-ha.

Trump is involved with this. Howard Nutlick, the grunting premature ejaculation of a man who serves as his Commerce Secretary, is involved. Trump’s sons are involved. Nutlick’s sons are involved. It is just lots of incestuous tungsten threesomes:

Within weeks of the St. Regis negotiations, investors with a firm called Dominari Securities, which is housed at Trump Tower in New York and partly owned by the president’s two eldest sons, Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump, joined with other partners to take a 20 percent stake in a corporate entity related to the Kazakhstan project.

Around the same time, Cantor Fitzgerald, an investment company controlled by Mr. Lutnick’s family and overseen by his sons Brandon and Kyle Lutnick, helped one of the lead investors working with Dominari on the Kazakh deal raise $210 million in new capital for a related entity. Such rounds of fund-raising typically net Cantor millions of dollars in fees.

Neat.

But lest you think this is weird or grifty or that Trump’s and Nutlick’s ugly fucking whore children are just stealing your money to enrich themselves on Kazakhstan tungsten deals, you should understand that Trump’s and Nutlick’s ugly fucking whore children are stealing your money to enrich themselves on LOTS of mining deals.

One or both families have financial ties to at least 14 companies that are actively working with the federal government on critical mining deals, including the Kazakhstan project, according to federal filings examined by The New York Times.

All 14 of these companies have either benefited directly from offers of financial assistance from the Trump administration, or have pending permit applications before the Commerce Department, which Mr. Lutnick oversees, The Times found. The total amount of federal funding that the Trump administration has provided or is considering providing to the companies exceeds $8.9 billion[.]

And the New York Times lists the 14 companies!

OK, so, you can read the whole article, obviously, and you should, if you want to get into the details. (The Center for American Progress also has a handy tool for keeping track of the total amount of profit Trump has made off the grift during his second presidency, as do the House Oversight Democrats.)

But like we said at the top, this grifting oligarch trash is what you get when you elect grifting oligarch trash to run the country. This is why — just like expanding the Supreme Court — for anybody who wants to get near the Democratic nomination in 2028, it must be a disqualifying issue for any candidate not to absolutely lead with a promise that they will appoint special people (czars!) to uncover and go after every single crime and atrocity and monstrosity committed by this regime. It’s going to be a years-long project.

But these motherfuckers should spend the rest of their lives wondering when accountability is going to catch up to them, like 95-year-old Nazis getting plucked out of their neighborhood cafés to face the music. They should live in terrified certainty that their moment will come for them.

Anything less and the US of A ain’t never gonna be great again, ever.

[New York Times / New York Times]

Want to read more Evan than just what’s at Wonkette? Visit The Moral High Ground and subscribe to it!

Follow me on Instagram!

And on BlueSky!

And on Facebook!

Here, a LinkTree!

---

---