460 Comments
User's avatar
Revenant's avatar

Ahhh, there he is! The Stupidest Man On The Internet returns! Where ta been, SMOTI? You don't mind if I call you SMOTI, do you? Say, what about that gambling debt you have with Wonkette?

Have you paid up, I'm sure we can work you an installment plan.

Expand full comment
kmblue187's avatar

So does this mean Trump is worried about Haley?

Expand full comment
kmblue187's avatar

"...even if she’s spent the past few weeks dressed in Scarlet O’Hara’s drapes."

I laughed. Thanks, Stephen!

Expand full comment
kmblue187's avatar

Brutal honesty from me...if I thought Nikki could win the nomination instead of Trump, I'd be very afraid she could beat Biden. She's young, which seems to be the only qualification to be President to some people.

BUT she is a female lady, which is a disqualification. And of another race (according to Trump) which is another disqualification.

Expand full comment
Stephen Robinson's avatar

HRC won the popular vote in 2016! A Republican woman could also benefit from the Electoral College bias toward the GOP.

And right-wing loons like Marsha Blackburn have defeated men in deep-red states. I think it's less gender and more ideology.

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

I haven't read down far enough (I usually do but I'm more pressed for time right now) but, does Trump realize that the first president who was actually born an American citizen was Martin Van Buren (#8)? That most of the earlier presidents, especially, had parents—at least one—who were born in Europe? That since then, there have been many more who have had at least one parent born in another country? That it DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER where the parents were born, as long as the President (or Presidential candidate) was born on American soil? I hope he didn't have high hopes for his own kids (excluding Tiffany—as usual) because their mothers were born in Eastern Europe. is he THAT FUCKING STUPID that he doesn't realize that? And finally, does Trump mean that taking away birthright citizenship will include his own kids or not?

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

You make the mistake of believing that MAGAts care about facts along with their racism

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

Unfortunately, you are right about that. :-(

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

I wish I wasn't

Expand full comment
Killer Pomodoro's avatar

"[I]s he THAT FUCKING STUPID..."

Is this a trick question?

Expand full comment
Monty Capuletti's avatar

can someone more skilled than me photoshop a bunch of trump campaign posters onto a photo of her on the telephone looking unhappy, please? no reason.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Whadda mean we can't call someone by their given BIRTH name, Donald? Ok, you're the boss of this article and I'm not here to debate you.

It was a matter of time before Trump would find a sexist or racist trope to throw out. He essentially mocked Christie due to his weight issues, as if that mattered. Nikki, (who I have called by her birth name in the past, to be fully honest here, because it's her birth name and not to mock her. It's REALITY) Haley is not an American Indian, so that'll be coming from Trump soon. Same with Vivek R.. Trump's going to do it. I have $1.00 here saying he's going to do it. He will say something incredibly ignorant and hurtful, like "How"! Mark my words. He''s a pathetic gutter monkey (my apologies to gutter monkeys).

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

If someone was trans, their birth name was Roberta but now they went by Rob, would you still insist on calling them by the birth name because "it's REALITY"? And if not, how is this different from calling Nikki Haley by her birth name when she doesn't use it?

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

No, I call Nikki Haley "Nikki" today. When I get irate with her, it's her birth name. It's like a Billy being called William by his mom when she's po'd with him. Why doesn't she use her birth name anyway? Is she embarrassed by her birth name? Is she trying to be deceitful? I'm not aware that she's Trans so why bring that up anyway? If she was Trans and I knew she was, I would call her whatever she wants to be called. What's it your business what I call her anyway? Stephen specifically asked not to use her Birth name, so I didn't. I owned up to using her birth name in the past and I didn't need to do so. You needed an argument! Oh, and sometimes I call Ted KKKruz Raphael too. Let me know if you have an issue with that as well!

Expand full comment
Stephen Robinson's avatar

This Billy probably wouldn't appreciate a stranger calling him "William" when he specifically doesn't use that name. The stranger isn't his mother. Also, using the full name to express frustration is different than deliberately using a name because it sounds more foreign than the other. I mean, that's the whole reason people use "Nimrata" and it's a cheap shot.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

Ok, point taken. I specifically said I call her "Nikki". But isn't TFG and PAB the same thing?

Expand full comment
Politiquacks's avatar

Gonna get awkward when he taps her for VP candidate.

Expand full comment
kmblue187's avatar

I suppose he might, if he can overcome his racism and sexism and fear someone might overshadow him. But he IS cynical enough to do it if he thought it would give him a better chance at victory.

Expand full comment
beb's avatar

Thanks for NOTE. I've seem too many attacks on Haley using her birth name. That's as racist as Trump.

Expand full comment
Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

That honestly took a lot longer than I expected

Expand full comment
"M"'s avatar

Me too

Expand full comment
fair_n_hite_451's avatar

"Please no "clever" reminders that Nikki's name is also "Nimrata." We refer to people by the name they choose."

Umm, this is patently untrue. We refer to EVERYONE by a bunch of different nicknames, especially the politicians we don't agree with.

Except Ted Cruz. Cause fuck that guy.

Expand full comment
RCS's avatar

Nimrata is a beautiful name, it's a shame she felt she couldn't go by it.

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

Ted Cruz, a hagfish with facial hair, was legit born in Canada. His father was a Cuban national. His mother may (or may not) have renounced her American citizenship.

He's not qualified to be POTUS on a number of fronts. At this point, Canada doesn't want him, either.

Lord knows, we don't

Expand full comment
Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

I believe the citizenship status of his mother is a legitimate concern, but it just doesn't gain traction anywhere. Completely ignored, actually.

Expand full comment
Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

My chosen name is Bigkus Dickus.

Expand full comment
William Donnell's avatar

Fwom Wome?

Expand full comment
fair_n_hite_451's avatar

We have no Wonald.

We have no Weginald.

We have no Wudolph the Wed Nosed Weindeer.

Expand full comment
Deebs45014's avatar

Let’s just pass a constitutional amendment that says you can’t be president unless you’re so white you own cargo shorts with 15 or more pockets, listen to nothing but Hall & Oates and consider Applebees fine dining.

That oughta put the birther controversy to bed once and for all.

Expand full comment
Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Do I have to like to play golf too?

Expand full comment
Deebs45014's avatar

That would help yes

Expand full comment
[Redacted]'s avatar

Nikki Haley running against PAB is like Hunter Biden crashing the House Un-American Activities Committee hearing.

See, it steals the narrative. Instead of talking about the vote to hold Hunter in contempt, the media is going to talk about Hunter’s finger.

Expand full comment
Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

I will be unsurprised when a salacious rumor about Haley doing sex starts making the rounds on Truth Social Disease. She’s not only not white, she’s not a man - endless angles from which to question her fitness for office.

Expand full comment
tim gueguen's avatar

"Do you really want a woman with The Button at that time of the month?" is probably more than enough for a lot of Trumpers.

Expand full comment
Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

I suppose it wouldn’t help to point out that most people who run for president are past the age of having times of the month. Also that would be acceting their premise. Also they aren’t familiar with women having buttons.

Expand full comment