Trump Idiots Demand World's Help Winning War We Already Won On Sunday Shows
We watch so you never have to!
We’re going into our third week of Trump’s Iran “little incursion excursion” kerfuffle.
Wanna see how great things are going?
Let’s dive in to the Sunday shows!
Mike Waltz
We begin with Donald Trump’s former National Security Advisor and current UN Ambassador Mike Waltz.
Waltz appeared on CNN's State Of The Union, instead of just having Jake Tapper added to the Signal group chat. Tapper asked him about the conflicting messaging from the Trump administration regarding our not-a-war war. Waltz cleared that up by explaining we have already won.
WALTZ: Militarily, the U.S. military has decimated Iran's air force, their air defenses, their missile capability, their missile production capability. This has been a dominant victory, the likes of which we haven't seen in modern American military history.
But when Tapper brought up the small issue of the Strait of Hormuz, a crucial shipping passage bordering Iran and the United Arab Emirates, suddenly Waltz was not-so-mission-accomplished.
WALTZ: President Trump is calling upon the world, saying the entire world is affected. […] And we certainly welcome, encourage, and even demand their participation to help their own economies.
On Fox News Sunday, Waltz reiterated a similar sentiment to Shannon Bream.
WALTZ: It's absolutely correct for President Trump to call on the world to come help [...] he's calling upon the world to take care of this problem once and for all.
“Demand their participation”? “Calling upon the world to take care of this problem”? Mike Waltz’s dumb boss (and Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu) decided to do this dumb shit. The rest of the world does not have to be dragged because after they dove into this without consulting them, Leroy Jenkins-style.
Chris Wright
Speaking of suddenly being baffled by the predictable consequences of their actions, Trump’s Energy Secretary Chris Wright made dual appearances on NBC’s Meet The Press and ABC’s This Week.
Being the Energy secretary during a spike in gas prices because your boss started a Gulf not-war has to be unpleasant. But Wright showed he was the right man for the job with his reassurances to the American people about oil prices.
WRIGHT: Yeah, after the conflict is over, you’ll start to see prices come back down. […] But yes, it is a short-term disruption to the flow of energy. Americans are feeling it right now. Americans will feel it for a few more weeks. […]
NBC’s Kristen Welker, not very reassured about Wright’s statement, pushed for stronger assurances. She did not get them.
WELKER: [T]he price of a barrel of oil closed above $103 on Friday. And the Iranians are warning of prices hitting $200 a barrel. Mr. Secretary, should Americans be bracing for — should they be worried that this war will actually drive the price of oil above $200 a barrel?
WRIGHT: So Iran for 47 years has called the United States “the great Satan.” So because they call us the great Satan […] So I don’t listen much to Iranian projections of what’s going to happen.
WELKER: So that’s a no?
WRIGHT: But there is disruption to the flow –
WELKER: Is that a no?
WRIGHT: – in a very important waterway. I would pay no attention to what Iran says.
Ignoring the question to babble incoherently is never a good sign.
Welker also asked Wright about the Strait of Hormuz, especially in light of Trump calling oil shippers to “show some guts” and go through it. Wright was not so confident.
WELKER: Is the Strait of Hormuz safe for shipping right now, Mr. Secretary?
WRIGHT: No. No, it is not.
Welker kept asking about this, and the Trump administration's preparedness before beginning this conflict. Wright’s answer was a bit shocking.
WELKER: If you were prepared, why is the Strait of Hormuz effectively closed right now?
WRIGHT: Because it’s right near the Iranian shoreline.
No shit, Sherlock! The expression “God created war so that Americans would learn geography” (which is often misattributed to Mark Twain) is supposed to apply to its citizens, not the people launching said wars.
In another baffling exchange, Wright was confused about what does and does not constitute “rewarding” Russia:
WELKER: Why is the United States rewarding Russia?
WRIGHT: So this is not rewarding Russia. I understand that it can be seen that way.
WELKER: […] But Mr. Secretary, how else can it be seen if the U.S. is lifting sanctions on Russia?
WRIGHT: Because the oil we’re lifting sanctions on is already on the water waiting to unload in a Chinese port.
Nope, that did not answer that question.
Kevin Hassett
CBS’s Margaret Brennan asked Trump’s National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett about the cost of this non-war on Face The Nation.
BRENNAN: Well, tell me, how much is this war going to cost? Because I know the Pentagon briefed it's going to be about $11.3 billion. […]
HASSETT: I think, right now, we’ve got what we need. […] But the latest number – you said 11.3. The latest number I was briefed on was 12, and so it’s consistent.[…]
BRENNAN: […] For six weeks of war?
HASSETT: No. I’m sorry. The $12 billion was what I was briefed has been spent so far.
Dan Crenshaw
We end with a bit of schadenfreude at soon-to-be former Texas GOP Rep. Dan Crenshaw crying that he lost his GOP primary election due to “misinformation.”
Goodbye, Rep. Threat Level Midnight. You won’t be missed.
Have a week.
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That's a bumper sticker:
"We won! Send Help!"
From, “fuck your feelings. We’re taking Greenland” to “ But guuuuys! You have to help me with Iran! Guuuuys!”