Trumpers Scared Of Mad Daddy When He Finds Out What They Told Robert Mueller

Thoughts 'n' prayers, just kidding, fuck these people.

THE DAY OF THE BIGGEST COVER-UP OF ALL IS NIGH! It is on Thursday! We are all anticipating the release of whatever Sharpied bullshit version of the Mueller report Attorney General Bill Barr has decided deletes just enough Trump crimes -- both the obstruction kind and the kind that involves bad behavior with the Russians that for whatever reason Robert Mueller decided he couldn't prove rose to the level of a grand conspiracy. (And we will be live-blogging the release! That's right, we are going to liveblog NOTHINGNESS.)

And as the week goes on, we are starting to hear just how freaked out everybody in TrumpLand is, because they know that even 400 pages of fully redacted ink will make them look super fucking bad. (Especially 400 pages of fully redacted ink, actually.) Trump has been on the Twitter stepping on rakes like he always does, live-tweeting his fear and lamentations for days now. We got news this weekend that the White House is particularly freaked about what former White House counsel Don McGahn, who spent at least 30 hours with the special counsel, told Mueller's team.

And now there is NBC News to tell us that also the rest of the whole entire White House is losing its shit, and also large hordes of people who used to work at the White House, because a lot of them cooperated (the pre-Giuliani lawyers told them to!), and they just know they are going to get in big trouble if their names show up in that report, because of how they talked a lot of shit about President Crime Boss to Mueller's team!

Some of the officials and their lawyers have sought clarity from the Justice Department on whether the names of those who cooperated with Mueller's team will be redacted or if the public report will be written in a way that makes it obvious who shared certain details of Trump's actions that were part of the obstruction of justice probe, people familiar with the discussions said. But, they said, the Justice Department has refused to elaborate.

Poor babies! And here we were pretty sure Bill Barr had sent copies over to the White House for folks to cross out stuff as they wished.

"They got asked questions and told the truth and now they're worried the wrath will follow," one former White House official said.

Because they know what a shithole person they work/ed for and they were up close and personal with Trump while he was committing all the obstruction of justice crimes, and they spilled the beans? Because they've seen how he treats human beings who aren't currently in Dear Leader's good graces? Yeah, we guess that would make a bad American human being who has freely chosen to work for the most criminal White House in history nervous.

How bad is it?

One person close to the White House said there is "breakdown-level anxiety" among some current and former staffers who cooperated with the investigation at the direction of Trump's legal team at the time.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha, oh man, we are trying to feel sorry for these people right now, but we aren't trying very hard.

We just wonder if they felt this way when Donald Trump was attacking James Comey and Jeff Sessions and Peter Strzok and Lisa Page and Bruce Ohr and Andrew McCabe and approximately one million other people, in his very obvious campaign to obstruct the investigations into him. They probably at least remember all that stuff, which is why they are selfishly worried the guy many of them continue to work for (of their own volition) is going to turn on them next.

"First he came for the Deep State, but I was not a Shillary for Hillary, I was much more of a Shallow State type, so I stayed silent. When he finally came for me, nobody was left to speak up for me, because BOY HOWDY I am an unsympathetic piece of shit character in this story." When this shitshow period of American history is turned into a musical, that would be a good line for a Trump White House person to say.

Today, when you say your thoughts 'n' prayers, try to take a moment to remember these poor souls. Or, you know, fuck that, and just rejoice in their misery.

TICK TOCK UNTIL THURSDAY, ASSHOLES.

[ NBC News ]

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