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Hush Hush, Keep It Down Now, Voices Carry MOTHERFUCKER GONNA GO TO JAIL Y'ALL
Yeah yeah innocent until proven guilty, go wank off somewhere else, Satan.
Oh nothing, just the news.
It is related to Boxes Hoax, many people are saying!
He is doing lots of "truths" right now, and none of them are all caps (mostly), which leads us to believe he has either been sedated or his lawyers or maybe Melania are doing the typing. You know, unless she's on Zillow Gone Wild thinking of all the houses she's gonna buy when fuckface goes to his new house with the bars on the windows.
He has to show up at the Miami courthouse on Tuesday at 3 p.m., he says. We guess that's when we might learn about the indictments, but SOURCES SAY it is seven counts. Fox News is even confirming it.
Here is one of Trump's dumbfuckingest lawyers Alina Habba on the Fox, saying she is ashamed to be a lawyer right now. It is funny because that is kind of like Elon Musk saying he's ashamed to be such a hilarious guy or Donald Trump Jr. saying he's ashamed of his sex appeal.
“Habba: I'm embarrassed to be a lawyer at this moment. Honestly I'm ashamed to be a lawyer.”
— Acyn (@Acyn) 1686268451
And here is Fox News pretending dumbass James Comer's banjo-strumming hillbilly shit about Rudy Giuliani's Russian spy allegations against the Bidens is somehow WORSE than whatever Trump did, as if somehow this is happening TO DISTRACT US from James Comer's banjo-strumming hillbilly shit.
“lol fox's immediate reaction to the trump indictment news is so pathetic”
— Andrew Lawrence (@Andrew Lawrence) 1686267848
Shove it up your cloaca, losers.
If you want Republicans just crying and wailing and crying and wailing, get on Elon's hellsite for one more night, and watch Fox and watch Newsmax, or go to a Cracker Barrel and ask if anybody is in the mood for a good long cry.
“Apologies if this MAGA reaction stuff is getting boring.”
— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski) 1686268145
“The Smartest Man on the Planet has thoughts.”
— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski) 1686267887
Hahahahaha, eat America's entire butthole, Elon.
You want to see one of Trump's kids crying? You specifically want to see Junior?
“I prefer the Big House.”
— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski) 1686267483
Don't worry, Junior. Daddy will still not love you in prison.
Ron promises he's going to keep mining the internet for this stuff. We believe him.
Share all the hilarious ones you find in the comments! We might add more! Or we might just wait and write more things in the morning!
But SHHHH, REMEMBER, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S INDICTED FOR, INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!
Wank wank fuck off.
And if you're a Philistine who doesn't know what our headline is about, this happened in the chatcave (they are probably already drunk):
'Til Tuesday - Voices Carry www.youtube.com
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
Just got to BlueSky!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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