Trump Just Asking Why He Wasn't Criminally Charged Years Ago, How Many More Indictments Coming Before He Dies
1. Dunno! 2. The indictments will stop the second it stops being fun for America.
There are however many days left until Donald Trump is indicted again for the 40 millionth time. Could be this afternoon! Could be a different day.
Friday, Wonkette had a check-in on where things stand with Fulton County D.A. Fani Willis, who it looks like is going to make her move in Atlanta in the next three weeks. Special Counsel Jack Smith is going to start raining down January 6 indictments whenever he fuckin’ feels like it.
And Trump is beginning his newest week of fresh hell SCREAMING.
As is always the case, whatever wailing we post is merely an excerpt of the full babble-wauling he’s doing, which includes re-"truthing" the shut-in weirdos who slumber party with him each night on Truth Social.
Late last night came this:
He said in mostly all caps, but not 100 percent all caps:
How many times can Crooked Joe Biden’s DEPARTMENT OF INJUSTICE, TOGETHER WITH THEIR LOCAL DEMOCRAT D.A.’S & A.G.’S, INDICT HIS POLITICAL OPPONENT DURING THE COURSE OF THE CAMPAIGN? DO THEY UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGE BEING DONE TO AMERICA? IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. WE MUST STOP THESE “MONSTERS” FROM FURTHER DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY!
It’s like he forgot to hit caps lock for the first six words but didn’t know how to go back and fix it once he did.
Anyway, the answer is LOTS MORE TIMES! But it’s not a coordinated conspiracy theory and it has nothing to do with Biden’s “political opponent,” since Trump only declared for president so he could scream “election interference!” AND PROBABLY OUT OF A FALSE AND MISPLACED HOPE THAT MAYBE HIS STATUS AS A CANDIDATE WOULD MAKE SOME PEOPLE RELUCTANT TO HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS MILLIONS OF FUCKING CRIMES AGAINST AMERICA AND HUMANITY AT LARGE.
Darnit, looks like the middle-of-sentence caps lock disease has stricken the Wonkette as well.
He continued to frantically blubber:
Do you think that A.G. Garland, and Deranged Jack Smith, understand that we are in the middle of a major political campaign for President of the United States? Have they looked at recent poll numbers? Why didn’t they bring these ridiculous charges years before — Why did they wait to bring them NOW — A virtually unheard of scenario? PROSECUTORIAL MISCONDUCT! ELECTION INTERFERENCE!
As we were just saying.
Why didn’t they bring these charges years ago? Well, to be honest, we were among those who wondered what was taking Merrick Garland so fucking long. We understand the need to be thorough, but we also think there was enough evidence to lock Trump underneath Gitmo the second he waddled out of the White House for the last time.
Of course, with other crimes, like stealing and withholding America’s nuclear secrets, that was a crime in progress that started after Trump left the White House. And regarding inciting a terrorist attack against America as part of his plot to overthrow the government and overturn the election he had just lost, it’s understandable why it took a minute to really get those charges just right.
We’re probably about to find out how just right they got them!
But ELECTION INTERFERENCE! Yadda yadda. He cryin’.
While we wait to find out specifically what he cryin’ about, remember that last week Trump reportedly got a target letter from Special Counsel Smith in the January 6 investigation. And if you missed it, a few news outlets got their hands on some of the details of that target letter, what kinds of charges Trump is likely to face.
The Wall Street Journal says the letter mentioned three federal statutes:
The special counsel’s target letter, according to a person familiar with the matter, cites three statutes, pertaining to deprivation of rights; conspiracy to commit an offense against or defraud the United States; and tampering with a witness.
NBC News adds that “[t]he context surrounding the statutes is unclear, and including them in the letter does not necessarily mean that Trump will be charged with related counts or that an indictment would be limited to only those three statutes.”
We guess we’ll just have to wait for more specifics.
Tick tock, motherfucker.
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The indictments will continue until morale improves!
Why didn't they bring charges before? Well I dunno', asshole, maybe check with Billy Barr and a few of your other pals who made it quite clear that Robert Mueller was going to be crashing headfirst at every turn into an infamous DOJ memo.
Also, if you had just kept your criminal carcass at home instead of running for POTUS cuz' Obama hurt your fee fees:
1. It is unlikely that the NY AG's office would have ever done such a thorough shearing of your fraudulent, bullshit organization. They would have just kept punching them out one by one as they always had been;
2. If you hadn't paid off a porn star using OPM while in the Oval Office and then lied about it, Bragg would never have investigated tax fraud against the organization and Weisselberg, and would never have indicted you for the payment;
3. If you weren't POTUS (and I use that term lightly), you wouldn't have tried to fraudulently overturn the 2020 election and Fani Willis in GA wouldn't be shining a microscope where the sun don't shine. Nor would Jack Smith be coming at you like a bullet train for the same shit; also, you wouldn't have started an armed insurrection while in office, so Jack wouldn't be ready to drop a boulder on your head for that. And if you weren't ever lightly POTUS, you would never have been able to steal shitloads of classified information and undoubtedly give some of it to your BFF's Putin and Bonesaw.
The moral of the story is: Don't fuck around and you won't find out.