How are things going with Donald Trump’s continued unauthorized use of popular music to warm up the crowds of feral Übermenschen that flock to his election rallies like birds flying too close to the engine of a jumbo jet? Well, right now the Trump campaign is being threatened with lawsuits by both Celine Dion and the estate of Isaac Hayes. So, not great!
First up is Hayes, whose family has been telling Trump for two years to not use the singer’s “Hold On, I’m Comin’” — words we guarantee Donald Trump has never heard in his life — at his rallies.
Then Trump’s campaign apparently played the song before his rally in Montana this past Friday night, and the Hayes family finally hit its limit. A lawyer for the family sent Trump a cease-and-desist letter demanding that he stop using the song and also pay Hayes’s estate for all the times he has played the song since 2022 and may use it in the future without permission, fuck you very much:
Walker alleges that the song has been used so frequently that the $3m figure is “heavily discounted”. The letter also states that if a resolution is not made and a lawsuit is then issued, the Hayes family will demand damages of $150,000 per use of the song.
They should add an addition $10 trillion for the emotional trauma suffered by anyone who has ever seen video of Trump dancing to “Hold On, I’m Comin’. ” Like so:
You can now all file claims when the class action suit gets settled sometime around 2095.
You’d think Trump would have the sense to stop after the Hayes family criticized him for playing the song after his speech at a National Rifle Association convention less than a week after the Uvalde school shooting. Then you would remember that Donald Trump does not have the humanity or self-awareness that God gave a cantaloupe.
The other musician now threatening Trump with unauthorized use of her music is Céline Dion, who is both mad and a little befuddled about the Trump campaign’s musical choices. Which, join the club:
It is the “…AND REALLY, THAT SONG?” at the end that makes this art.
“My Heart Will Go On” was, of course, the Oscar-winning theme song of James Cameron’s 1997 movie about the sinking of the Titanic. Which makes a good metaphor for Trump’s presidential campaign, really. The ship was a giant juggernaut powered by the hubris of its builders and its captain, launched to great fanfare and intending to successfully navigate rough seas with aplomb, only to recklessly charge full speed into an ice field, crash into a berg, and quickly sink to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.
The Guardian notes that Trump has pissed off enough musicians through his unauthorized use of their music at his rallies that there is an entire list on Wikipedia dedicated to the phenomenon. It is an extensive list! We had never even heard of Yoann Lemoine. At this rate the Gregorian monks will be filing preemptive warning letters.
It’s sad and ungrateful how Trump insists on using unauthorized music. He has such a wealth of Kid Rock and Lee Greenwood to choose from.
The end.
[Guardian]
We can say with some assurance that our fans’ donations will never go towards paying musicians for use of their music at our political rallies.
Music adjacent, via Twitter:
Ryan Fournier: "If Taylor Swift endorses Kamala Harris, just remember that 90% of her music is about choosing the wrong guy."
Reply: "And that's why she's choosing a woman. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk, Ryan."
*holds nose and watches video of PAB "dancing"*
I just don't get it. He's ugly, slovenly, and has all the charisma of an inflamed hemorrhoid. Why do people like him?