They Had Tears In Their Eyes And They Said 'Sir, Sir! Everybody Is Saying You Have The Best Words.'

Donald Trump's speech at the National Hispanic Leadership Conference sure was something.

Donald Trump spoke yesterday at the National Hispanic Leadership Conference, because if there are two things Trump is just Cocoa Puffs over, it is Hispanics and leadership.

And look, we have seen Trump babble, and the entire past seven years have been like watching Trump's brain leak out of his ears and into puddles on the ground as he loudly insists, "Person! Woman! Man! Camera! TV!" 

Maybe we are just out of practice from watching Trump speak on a daily basis, and we forget what the dementia blabbing sounds like. Or maybe this really is worse than usual.

All we are certain of is that Trump declared that "No teacher should teach transgender to our children without parental consult." And he sounded like his teeth were about to hit the floor with his brains.

“Trump: without parental consult.. parental consent.. We will totally oppose the Biden Administrating— this this administration”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1665004802 

It's like a tongue-twister for mommies and daddies who think children are dressing up as furries and using litterboxes in schools. "Teeshers teesh transshender to shildren without parental conshult. Teeshers teesh transshender to shildren without parental conshult. Teeshers teesh transshender to shildren without parental conshult."

Trump immediately added that "nobody has to have parental consent" and that "we will oppose the Biden administrating," because those are words.

So he's doing fine.

At another point in the speech, Trump declared that a "very famous pollster" — John McLaughlin, so more of a laughably bad pollster Trump likes because he licks Trump's ass and because Trump has poor judgment — told him, “Sir, if George Washington and Abraham Lincoln came alive from the dead and they formed a president-vice president team, you would beat them by 40 percent." So all of that is delusion, and it's very possibly a lie, because it's a "sir story." 

“Good to see Donald Trump is as humble as ever: “A very famous pollster … said, ‘Sir, if George Washington and Abraham Lincoln came alive from the dead and they formed a president-vice president team, you would beat them by 40%.’””

— The Recount (@The Recount) 1665003628 

But look, it makes him feel better to believe it, just like it makes him feel better to believe he won the 2020 election. And unlike that Big Lie, it hurts nobody for Trump to sit by himself in his underpants at Mar-a-Lago telling himself that he'd beat George Washington and Abraham Lincoln by 40 percent. Besides, any time he spends doing that is probably time he's not sitting in his underpants mishandling stolen Top Secret American documents.

Speaking of Mar-a-Lago, here is Trump admitting that he's just "thinking as I'm speaking," about how terrible it is that the FBI raids his Mar-a-Lago but doesn't raid the cartels' Mar-a-Lagos, because they have Mar-a-Lagos too, did you know the cartels have Mar-a-Lagos just like he has a Mar-a-Lago?

“Trump: I’m just thinking as I’m speaking. They raided Mar-a-Lago but the cartels, they have their own Mar-a-Lagos and those are fine”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1665004434 

"We're a country of investigations. We don't talk about greatness anymore." You betcha.

Still on the subject of cartels and Mar-a-Lago, and also now people being paid a million dollars to leak on him — not the Russian pee hooker way, he means leak information — here is Trump whining that "they leaked that I wanted to hit the cartels with missiles." He added, "When they leak on my administration, some people think it's so glamorous, it's so great." Poor thing still thinks he has an "administration."

“"When they leak on my administration, some people think it's so glamorous, it's so great" -- Trump on leaks”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1665002680 

Trump claimed that some people thought his idea to fling missiles at the cartels was brilliant. He is either lying or mistaken. What was so funny about that story, which came out in former Defense Secretary Mark Esper's book in May, is that Trump was so fucking stupid that he thought we could shoot Patriot missiles at cartel compounds and nobody would know it was us who did it .

As Maggie Haberman wrote at the time:

When Mr. Esper raised various objections, Mr. Trump said that “we could just shoot some Patriot missiles and take out the labs, quietly,” adding that “no one would know it was us.” Mr. Trump said he would just say that the United States had not conducted the strike, Mr. Esper recounts, writing that he would have thought it was a joke had he not been staring Mr. Trump in the face.

Anyway, back to the clips!

Did we mention that in every clip Trump's "s" sounds are "sh" sounds and it seems like his entire set of chompers are about to comically betray him? We should say that again.

Want to see an old man loudly complain to the manager of clouds that the banks "like Chase and like Bank of America have done much less for the Hispanic community than they should" because they have "gone woke" and "should be penalized very seriously for it"? This is that:

“Trump says the banks have gone woke”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1665003458 

That's right, woke banks .

 And finally this, we do not know what this is. It is one solid minute of "our oil," which is "liquid gold," which is unlike their oil, which is "tar, it's very rough, it's not light, and it's not sweet, it's rough stuff." And all the oil is refined in our country, "so if there is anything goes in the air, it goes in the air in the United States," but even if it was refined in a different country, "it blows over, the whole thing is so crazy, what they're doing is so crazy." It's crazy because we have more oil than everybody, he says, "liquid gold."

“Trump is in full stream of consciousness rant mode”

— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1665002680 

He finished this section by saying for no apparent reason that "over four incredible years we did more for the Hispanic community than any administration in the history of our country." Why does he say that? Why wouldn't he say that? They were the words that traveled out of his brain and into his colon and out of his voicebox right then. Just like at other times he said "woke banks" and "teesh transhgender" and "the cartels have Mar-a-Lagos" and all the other words.

He has the best words.

Everybody is saying it, they are saying "Sir, you have the best words."

They have tears in their eyes.

[ New York Times ]

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