SPOTTED! At Trump's Big Sexy Mar-a-Lago NYE Bash: Nobody.

Sad.

No matter what you did for New Year's Eve, no matter whether you stayed in or went out, it sounds like your celebration was more star-studded than Donald Trump's. And you know why? Because everybody hates him and nobody wants to go to his parties.

Now, you might recall that New Year's Eve is also Donald Trump Jr.'s birthday, and assume that's a big reason nobody wanted to be there. And that might be true, but the Palm Beach Post says he wasn't even there. He's figured so prominently into Trump's NYE bashes in the past. (In a sad way, we mean.)

Also not there? Ivanka. We've been reading about how she's been staying away from Fun Central AKA her father's pitiful presidential campaign.

So who WAS there? Oh, just the MyPillow Guy and Rudy Giuliani, who definitely knew which New Year they were celebrating:

“Mar-a-Lago 2023 New Year headed right to 2024!”

— Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani) 1672542979 

To be fair, maybe he was trying to say it's 2023 now, and he's part of a highly energetic campaign to steal back the presidency in 2024.

The Palm Beach Post says also weirdo Dick Morris was there. And representing the Trump family, the Trump offspring you call when all the other Trump offspring are pretending to ignore your calls and texts, Eric and Lara Trump were there!

If there were any other impressive names, they weren't in the newspaper. And boy howdy, the ones we've mentioned so far are not very impressive.

Trump blabbed some words, apparently. In Rudy Giuliani's video above you can see what the "festivities" looked like.

The Palm Beach Post spends the rest of its article talking about what a shitty 2022 Trump had, what with his endorsements being such losers in the midterms and all the criminal investigations and the Trump Organization tax fraud guilty verdict in New York and the dinner with the Nazis and so forth. Oh yes, and now we're learning all about what's really in Trump's taxes, finally.

Then the Palm Beach Pos  t — remember, this is his hometown newspaper — decided to bring up again how most Republican voters would rather someone else be the GOP presidential nominee in 2024.

And that's it. That's the big society pages article in Trump's hometown newspaper about his New Year's party.

In sad related news, Trump apparently tried to get journalists to pay attention to him on New Year's Eve — someone! anyone! — by announcing a surprise "media availability" at 9 pm ET, but literally nobody of any significance bit. Not even Newsmax. Obviously not Fox News.

Trump's big New Year's Eve, everybody.

We just hope these people have whatever kind of new year they deserve.

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