280 Comments

FFS reaching a crescendo of bad puns here

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That is a note-worthy suggestion, and I assume that you think it would only take a minuet, but I would hate to see you under a rest if you tried it. Your fret does not cause me to tremolo. I don't think you need to resort to sax or violins here; don't hate me because I am fluteiful and too hot to Handel. I could go on . . .

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I think Goodwill smells like a nursing home.

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Ack! Ta, $5F.

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That reeeeeeeeeeked!

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I remember too. "Officer Obie" was my aunt's brother and was at a lot of family functions. He was a blowhard and totally full of himself. Some say he mellowed with age but that's damning with faint praise. He might've gone from a flaming asshole to just a screaming one.

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Holy shit! You a Berkshire local? Why didn't you come to Holly's Labor Day weekend extravaganza/drinky thing?

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"And spit out your gum."

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Yes, she is really late at present.

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There was some influence peddling among the Giuliani team re. a cannabis investment. The Russian mob is trying to move into legal pot worldwide.

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Hardly! We haven't even gotten to the pun chline.

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, [drumroll]“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

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as I always like to say when people ask me if I read music, I can read music, but I don't read music. I pay people who went to college to read it for me

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He neglected to say 52 and 59 percent of "Republicans" polled which are a small part of the overall percentage of voters (or americans).

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Did'ja have to show the butt that did the dialing?

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Stooges libel, at least they knew Hitler was an asshole. https://media0.giphy.com/me...

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