442 Comments
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TundraGrifter's avatar

"Birx" is the sound I make if I drink a Pepsi too fast.

TundraGrifter's avatar

Hair like one of those troll dolls.

TundraGrifter's avatar

Ratings gold - why didn't anybody think of it before this?

Strange but not a Stranger's avatar

The dumber members of his base wouldn't recognize him.

mailman27's avatar

archie and mehitabel are on the job.

mailman27's avatar

"Invisible China Virus???" How many ways can you go fuck yourself you orange shitbird? I will spend the rest of my life wondering how/why my fellow citizens voted for this cretin, this fucking idiot to be POTUS. It keeps me up at night, I swear to god.

Ethereal Fairy Natalie's avatar

Makes me want to vomit, just like that jingoistic crap song does.

-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

I have never watched a single thing he has said for more than, oh, maybe 10 seconds. Not on TV, not on the intertubes, not in person or pre-recorded. Not. Once. I have too much respect for myself. And as sure as BigMac-scented-shitstains-on-his-skivvies I STILL ain’t going to watch one fucking word from here on out.

-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

It’s like when you hold up a sheet in front of you in your doorway and then drop it as you step away, and your dog goes batshit thinking you disappeared. It’s like that. Only with masks, and god.

-=|Seriously, ☑️|=-'s avatar

Lovely crocheted COVID virus. Just the thing for the kiddies to play with.

Clark_Nova's avatar

The one about the rockets' red glare?

Ward in Cali BOYCOTT CNN!'s avatar

I'm just spitballing here, but I kinda think your husband had taken his mask off and a lot of other stuff too when he caught clamediea.