Trump SINGLE-HANDEDLY Lowering Drug Prices By MATH PERCENTS THAT DON'T EVEN EXIST!

Drug companies will be paying US to take all their medications off their hands!

Donald Trump is very good at Economy! Donald Trump knows Economy better than anyone! Sometimes Donald Trump talks to economists, and they say something, and he says something else, and they say ,“Wow, sir, no one has ever thought about it like that! That makes much more sense! You are great at Economy!”

Also, math. Trump is very good at math. He does math like no one does math. Adding, subtracting, percentages. Especially percentages, as you can see with his new talking point about just how much he personally has brought down drug prices. Which were very high, but now are much lower, thanks to TRUMP!

Watch and marvel at Trump showing the Sumerians and Babylonians how math is really done!

“One of the things they’re going to be talking about pretty soon is the tremendous drop in drug prices. You know, we’ve cut drug prices by 1200, 1300, 1400, 1500 percent. I don’t mean 50 percent, I mean 1400, 1500 percent.”

Donald Trump’s uncle taught at MIT, which by the transitive property makes Donald Trump a math savant. Also an economics savant, because math.

Math was far and away our worst subject in school, which is one reason we went into writing instead of astronomy. But we are pretty sure that cutting prices by 1,500 percent is not at all in any way how this works. Cutting the price of something 100 percent would make it free, so are drug companies now going to be paying us to take their drugs?

Let's say we have a medication that helps keep stones the size of Rhode Island from forming in our kidneys. The medication costs us ten bucks for one month’s supply. (It’s generic.) By Trump’s logic, not only will we no longer be paying that ten bucks, but the drug company will pay us $15,000 to take the medication off its hands.

We can’t wait for our next trip to Walgreens: Sir, here is your thirty days’ supply of medication and your check for 15 grand. See you next month!

Hey, How’s THE GROCERIES?

We’re certainly not fans of the inflated prices that predatory drug companies gouge out of desperate people who need their often lifesaving medication. But we also think they should not go bankrupt by paying rebates of 1500 percent to millions of customers. Rather, they should stay in business at least until our communist president AOC nationalizes them in 2030.

Someone please show Trump this clip of “The Simpsons” getting it 30 years ago so he can complain the show has gone woke and add taking it off the air as a demand in his current lawsuit against Rupert Murdoch.

Another thing about the clip of Trump is his saying “we’ve cut drug prices.” No, your administration sent a letter to drug manufacturers demanding that they commit within 60 days to cutting drug prices. Big deal. We could send a letter to Pfizer demanding the same thing, and it would have about as much legal force or effect. Typical Trump, though. He thinks the letters he sent to other countries a few weeks ago telling them about how high he plans to raise tariffs on products the US imports from them count as finalized trade deals. So why wouldn’t sending a letter to pharmaceutical companies result in drug prices dropping by mathematically impossible, business-killing percentages three days later?

The drug prices comment is not the only reminder we’ve had in the last couple of days of how fucking dumb Donald Trump is at Economy. Last week he fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics for telling him something he didn’t want to hear, which is that the nation’s economy is not the booming juggernaut he thinks it is. He has spent the days since complaining that all the economic numbers that came out last week, including a really bad jobs report, were a “scam” designed to make him look bad.

And you know what they say about good leadership: if a subordinate tells you something that’s factually true but nonetheless upsetting, you fire that person and replace her with someone who will tell you how great everything is at all times.

Don’t take our word for it. Here is Trump’s economic adviser, Kevin Hassett, who came right out and told Kristen Welker on Sunday that only the president’s people are reliable sources of economic data:

Back in reality, the economy is showing signs of swan-diving into a recession. Inflation is rising, labor force participation is declining, and tariffs are raising prices enough that sectors like home construction and manufacturing are slowing down. The US added all of 73,000 jobs in the month of July, 94 percent of which came in two sectors: healthcare and social assistance. And no one will be surprised if even that number gets revised downward in the next round of reporting from BLS.

Actually, we will be surprised, because by that point Trump will have named some lickspittle or other to the job of head of the BLS, and that person won’t want to give him bad news. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll probably pull the old Richard Nixon move of counting the number of Jews working at the bureau and then complaining that the Jews were never strong for him even after he moved the US embassy to Jerusalem, or some crap.

There is a saying we heard once: Figures don’t lie, but liars figure. The person who said it must have had Donald Trump in mind.

[CBS / CNBC]

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