Trump Tells 40 Percent Of America To F*ck Off, You Dang Moochers

Is this what they call a Romney gaffe?

Stop us if you heard this one before: someone leaked to the press an audio recording of a Republican presidential candidate telling a room full of rich donors that Democrats might win an election because all the moochers and freeloaders and lazy socialists to whom they keep writing welfare checks will vote for their nominee.

Fooled you! The candidate was not Mitt Romney, who probably couldn’t get nominated to be a banana salesman in a monkey whorehouse by the national Republican electorate at this point.

No, this time the nominee was Donald Trump. And while writing off 40 percent of Democratic voters as automatons being bought with government funds, and while such comments are so far down the list of contemptible Trumpian statements that they will never register the way Romney’s did, and while … wait a minute, we forgot where we were going with this.

Trump made the remarks during a closed-door fundraising luncheon at Mar-a-Lago on Saturday, and recordings were promptly leaked to The Washington Post by a “Republican donor.” They were also “obtained” by The New York Times, which, considering Maggie Haberman’s byline is on the story, means the audio could have come directly from Trump, or someone in his camp who was confident they would get reported out with zero backlash. And frankly, why wouldn’t Trump be confident of such a result?

“When you are Democrat, you start off essentially at 40 percent because you have civil service, you have the unions and you have welfare,” Trump said. “They get welfare to vote and then they cheat on top of that. They cheat.”

This is unfair. The Republicans have the police unions! And the cops will bust some hippie heads without even being asked. Can Joe Biden say the same about, say, the Writers Guild of America?

Well, at least Republicans have made inroads with the welfare moochers since 2012. Look at what Mitt Romney was up against with that gigantic 47 percent! If Trump can’t win when the Democrats have only 40 percent of the moochers locked up, he’ll be an even bigger loser than the senator from Utah.

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Mitt Romney Has Deleted All Files Related To '47%' Speech, Please Search Again

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Trump also reportedly accused Joe Biden of running “a Gestapo administration,” which, yes, sure, if there is anything Donald Trump has to fear, it is the Gestapo showing up at his house in the middle of the night and dragging him off to be tortured in a basement somewhere. He also called Special Counsel Jack Smith “unattractive” and a “fucking asshole.” And those are probably the mildest epithets he has thrown out about Smith in the last couple of years.

Trump devoted parts of his tirade to complaining about election fraud in 2020 (natch) and bragging about all the golf tournaments he has been winning at his own clubs. Maybe we could get him to drop out in exchange for a permanent spot on the PGA Seniors Tour?

Some more color from the Post:

At another point, he complained about having to take so many pictures with donors and told people in the crowd that if they didn’t get a picture, it was because they didn’t give enough money. He also claimed that a wedding at the property got preference over the donors because the wedding was paying more per person to be there.

Four hundred people paid a minimum of $40,000 apiece to attend this luncheon, though in Trump’s defense, that probably only covered his legal bills for Monday. Proving once again that rich people are huge suckers. They paid forty grand a pop to sit through the same rambling, formless monologue they could have heard at one of his campaign rallies for free.

Trump also blamed abortion for the narrow margin the Republicans enjoy in the House of Representatives, saying that the GOP would have had 45 more seats if not for all those Jezebels infuriated about that whole losing their bodily autonomy thing. He and his team also seem to think — or are pretending to think — they can expand his electoral map, including winning Virginia, which he lost to Biden by 10 points in 2020.

Hillary Clinton idly mused about expanding the Democrats’ map in 2016 in an interview once. Would anyone like to ask Trump how that went for her?

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Grifty Democratic Congressman Henry Cuellar Indicted For Being Poor Man's Bob Menendez

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Finally we would be remiss if we did not congratulate Rep. Henry Cuellar for the singular achievement of being a Democrat who has earned Trump’s sympathy for something, even if that sympathy was in service of Cuellar’s being an (alleged) degenerate criminal who took $600,000 in bribes over a decade from a Mexican bank and an Azerbaijani gas company:

He lamented the bribery charges lodged against Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-Tex.), suggesting that he “got indicted for political reasons, because he was tough on the border.”

Water, as always, finds its level.

[NY Times / WaPo]

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