184 Comments
User's avatar
chortlingdingo's avatar

Christ. I can hardly believe someone actually speaks that way. What a mess.

Expand full comment
chortlingdingo's avatar

I feel like we should swear presidents in on the constitution instead of a bible, given that, you know, we're not actually a christian country, despite what all the evangelicals like to think.

Expand full comment
azeyote's avatar

well if his names on that there bible he must have rote it from what he learnt from those secret voices that talk to him -

Expand full comment
Her Wokedness, Sister Artemis's avatar

I've had the same thought.

Expand full comment
Her Wokedness, Sister Artemis's avatar

hat tip for mentioning Stone's book :)

Expand full comment
proudgrampa the younger's avatar

Well, there you go.

Expand full comment
proudgrampa the younger's avatar

Original Hebrew and Greek, or GTFO.

Expand full comment
Scrofula's avatar

Hey, my old pediatrician's Children's Bible foresaw EXACTLY THIS ELECTION: https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Expand full comment
TundraGrifter's avatar

You can't fool me. He got that Bible from a hotel room. Ten buck says you turn it over and it's stamped in gold on the cover "Gideon."

Expand full comment
sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

I'd go with Origin of Species, myself... but that's just because I think the explosion would be bigger.

Expand full comment
JustDon'tSayHambriston's avatar

Sorry this is a little late Jeezis, the run-on verb-less sentences are jarring, huh?https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Expand full comment
Questionable Whackelpudding's avatar

So many Pepes. . .

Expand full comment
Tiny kaiju's avatar

Or the item the person repsects most. That could be very telling. Of course,they would all lie and pick the Constitution and not the stack of $100 bills that they really honor.

Expand full comment
Questionable Whackelpudding's avatar

What really gets me is how often I've heard people at swearing in ceremonies repeat, "I solemnly swear of affirm". NO! You're supposed to PICK ONE! The "or affirm" bit is in parenthesis and is an alternate thing you can say if you aren't religious. But, details, shmetails. . .

Expand full comment
Questionable Whackelpudding's avatar

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass. Thine daughter's, however. . ."

Expand full comment
Jenibrio Jenificus's avatar

His name is imprinted on the cover.And that is why he is taking his oath on it. Because he is taking an oath on his own name.

Expand full comment