'Food For Everyone!' Says Indicted Deadbeat. DON'T CLICK IF DON'T WANT SPOILERS.
WE SAID NO SPOILERS.
After Donald Trump was executed 37 times in Miami by the Deep State, for the made-up crime of bringing his own underpants and socks and American nuclear secrets home from the White House, he visited the Versailles restaurant in Little Havana. This is when a lot of the TV stations turned their cameras off and said fuck it, this is a campaign stop. Because everybody goes to Versailles if they want to hobnob with the Cuban community in Miami.
While he was there, the patrons sang "Happy Birthday" to him, and the very generous Trump said , "Food for everyone!"
Like such as:
““Food for everyone!” — Trump at Versailles, a Cuban restaurant, after pleading not guilty in the classified documents case”
— The Recount (@The Recount) 1686687717
He really emphasized it. He was doing a thing .
In response, some of the very stupidest MAGA fluffer paid bluechecks on the internet did jizz sprinkles in their pants because of what a giving mensch their wealthy lord and savior is. The rest of us were like "LMAO that's a bill that will never be paid." Because everybody in the reality-based world knows Donald Trump is a notoriously cheapass bitch who doesn't pay his bills. Not his lawyers, not his contractors, and he FOR DEFINITE is not buying lunch for a bunch of people he'd never deign to share oxygen with if he wasn't trying to grift them.
Well, we have a surprise (SPOILERS AHEAD, NO FURTHER YOU MUST GO IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS) and it is that Donald Trump did not even actually follow through on "Food for everyone!" The Miami New Times reports he was there literally 10 minutes, and nobody even had time to place an order on Trump's tab in that time.
So technically this is not a post about an unpaid bill! It is about a lying man who lies to people and gets their hopes up. About yummy lunches, about stolen elections.
And all those morons had shown up to be nice to him and sing to him. It is almost like he doesn't care if they live or die if they're not doing anything for him.
Looks like some Trump assholes managed to get takeout, though:
“Takeout, Versailles edition!”
— Jason Miller (@Jason Miller) 1686688345
The New York Daily News teaches both sides of the controversy:
Trump defenders on Twitter noted the GOP frontrunner only said there’d be food for everyone at the restaurant — not that he was buying it.
We'd say that's impossible because nobody is weird and socially awkward and brain-diseased enough to stand in restaurants and loudly exclaim that this is where all the people are going to eat the food.
But this is a man who, as president, upon leaving hurricane victims, was often known to say "Have fun!" or "Have a good time!"
And this is a man who has been bragging for several years straight about the time he (allegedly) aced a dementia test where he had to pick out which one was "camel."
So who knows, maybe he really was just correctly identifying "what is restaurant."
Wonkette: fair as fuck to Donald Trump. Never say otherwise.
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Existing cities in Illinois and Kentucky that are pronounced just that way have entered the chat.
Quit your fucking whining.