523 Comments
User's avatar
Shane's avatar

“I’ve just signed an executive order that all our new big beautiful battleships, and that’s what they’re going to be called from now on, are allllll gonna have side wheels! Those big beautiful sidewheels..,sometimes paddle wheels …we don’t have to be unathsetic..

Expand full comment
Martha Howell's avatar

There's not enough eye bleach in the world to make me hit Play on that video of Trump dancing.

Expand full comment
Kennf's avatar

Old Donnie doesn't know anything about magnets. Or windmills. Or tariffs. Or the Constitution.

Expand full comment
Marycat2021's avatar

Whatever else there is, how can the media ignore the drooping of the corner of Trump's mouth? And that he walks funny... and babbles incoherently? Interestingly, Grandpa Sundown bragged about his "perfect MRI," despite it being obvious that his handlers intended to keep it a secret that he had one.

Expand full comment
YaJagoff's avatar

trump has instructed his defense department to resume nuclear weapons testing “immediately.” “Because of other countries testing programs, I have instructed the Department of War to start testing our Nuclear Weapons on an equal basis,” he added. “That process will begin immediately.”

Russia has not tested a nuclear weapon since 1990, while China hasn’t tested one since 1996,

Expand full comment
DocJedi's avatar

I want to propose a multimillion-dollar 6.2 research program to develop waterproof magnets. Make it classified so I don’t have to publish. Easy money.

Expand full comment
Pixeloid's avatar

Someone on social media went through the entire test given to the Sherbert Pervert for people to try it at home. I'm in my 60s and it was nothing. Guess I'm not as far gone as Dementia Don.

I wonder how long they'll do the Weekend at Bernie's thing when Hamburglar Hitler finally croaks.

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

//

Related: James “Pigfuck McGee” Comer at the House Oversight Committee is now asking the Department of Justice to investigate every single action Joe Biden ever took with the autopen, as if all presidents don’t use those all day every day.

//

I saw one of these clowns -- I think it was Mike Johnson -- saying that Biden's pardons were all invalid because they were signed with an autopen.

Yeah? So we're gonna cancel all of your mob boss's pardons of his soldiers then? Because you are never going to convince me that lazy shit signed even 1% of those 𝟭𝟱𝟬𝟬 J6 pardons by hand.

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

Wandering in confusion with only three years to get to a third term. I don’t see that happening, and Trump doesn’t see that happening.

Expand full comment
JCfromNC's avatar

At the rate he's deteriorating, I can't see him reaching the end of this term, much less being together enough to for them to install him for a third.

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

The media won’t breathlessly report about Trump babbling incoherently or wandering around for a few reasons, namely because they are afraid of being sued for a zillion dollars, and second because it’s not startling news. Trump being a repugnant, dishonest and corrupt thug brings the bar down so low, it’s hard to write any headlines that raise any eyebrows. Joe Biden had integrity and dignity. He was a tall, handsome target that made for compelling sport to take him down a peg or two. To see him stumble was noteworthy. To see Trump slur his words, rambling in confusion or wandering around like a drunk buffalo isn’t noteworthy, it’s just what we expect to see. It’s his baseline.

Expand full comment
Hank Napkin's avatar

During a ceremonial meal in Beijing Sir grabbed a dripping handful of Moo-Shu Pork, held it aloft and shouted "Hey Chyna!! I'm eating your lunch!!!"

Expand full comment
simpledinosaur's avatar

He definitely did not look right--polite as she was, the new Prime Minister of Japan couldn't help treating Donald as a clownish character, a figure of fun. Wandering around aimlessly at a highly ceremonial occasion you're at the center of will get you that reaction.

Expand full comment
Vesper's avatar

I have been saying all this time that what they are doing to trump amounts to elder abuse and won't they leave this poor befuddled old man alone to wander about on a beautiful farm upstate.

Expand full comment
Jay E.'s avatar

Take him up to the woods and turn him loose ffs

Expand full comment
Karen Krebser's avatar

Will no one rid me of this turbulent prie... wait, what? Turd? Not "turbulent," but "turd"? Oh. Ok, yeah, gotcha, yeah, it doesn't have the same zip, but ... uh, sure. Ok, take 2. <bellowing> "Will no one rid me of this turd?" <great clapping all throughout the land>

Expand full comment
The Mighty Ox's avatar

“You know, the new thing is magnets."--Donald Trump

"Magnets: how do they fucking work?" --Insane Clown Posse

Expand full comment
Anne's avatar

On truth social today he posted "South Carerdddd". Guess he got hold of a phone before they could stop him.

Expand full comment
Dina's avatar

I saw that, too. James Fell remarked that South Carerdddd's main export is covfefe.

Expand full comment
Karen Krebser's avatar

As opposed to "North Carerdddd," where the nuts come from?

Expand full comment