Tucker Carlson doing 2010-era Glenn Beck with "the guy who banged Obama" sure yup!
Hey pallies, it’s your Wonkette evening news roundup! We’re doing a late lunch version and an evening version, or they’re TOO LONG.
Of course, these feel TOO SHORT.
Oh well, have some stories! From Liz on Trump’s civil trials of LOL, I like to call this “The Alex Jones Question”:
“The truth or falsity of Mr. Trump’s 2019 statements therefore depends – like the truth or falsity of his 2022 statement – on whether Ms. Carroll lied about Mr. Trump sexually assaulting her,” Judge Kaplan wrote. “The jury’s finding that she did not therefore is binding in this case and precludes Mr. Trump from contesting the falsity of his 2019 statements.”
This means that the only issue for the jury is how big a check Trump will have to write.
This is so important. Get fucked, Greg Abbott.
Mean Judge Making Greg Abbott Move Fun Orange Human-Killing Obstacle Courses From Rio Grande
Quick update on Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott and the 1,000-foot-long centipedes of orange killer buoys he illegally stuck in the middle of the Rio Grande near Eagle Pass, Texas, to kill migrants. Just kidding! He only means them to deter the so-called “invasion” of immigrants Texas Republicans are always having such a shitfit about. Yep.
Yes, they only hire women and people of color when things are looking baaaad.
Heart-hug emoji face!
It's A Bad Time To Be A Union Buster
On Wednesday, the US Senate voted 51-48 to confirm a second term for Gwynne Wilcox on the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) — with Alaska Republicans Lisa Murkowski and Dan Sullivan voting for her and West Virginia’s ever-whimsical Democratic Senator Joe Manchin voting against. Manchin was also
Tucker Carlson is cosplaying 2010 Glenn Beck, so that’s a career choice.
Tucker Carlson Hears About Obama Doing Gay Sex, Tries To Suppress Boner
Today in “you gotta be fuckin’ kidding me,” besides (waves hand in general direction of everything), Tucker Carlson has slithered back into our consciousness. But there is a silver lining here, which we promise we’ll get to, just as soon as we finish scrubbing our skin with steel wool.
LOL just kidding, I accused Tucker Carlson of “having a career.”
See you all in the ayem!
Cornell west. He makes some good policy points. Also, fuck that guy.