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Guess Tucker's Last Lie To His Viewers Was 'We'll Be Back On Monday'
Bye you fucking piece of shit.
Hard day for fans of overly processed loser white conservative dude country music today, you know? Morgan Wallen canceled his concert in Oxford, Mississippi, last night at the very last minute, when fans were already all at the stadium, because he "lost his voice," and also WTF TUCKER CARLSON JUST LOST HIS SHOW?
GODDAMN HOLY SHIT BOY HOWDY GODDAMN!
Here is the press release from Fox News. This is all they had to say:
That is fairly brief!
FOX News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways. We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor.
Mr. Carlson's last program was Friday April 21st. Fox News Tonight will air live at 8 PM/ET starting this evening as an interim show helmed by rotating FOX News personalities until a new host is named.
Wow. He doesn't even get to say goodbye on his own terms. He is just summarily kicked out the fuckin' door. Thoughts and prayers and so forth!
So long, easily the top rated Fox News host since forever!
Here is Harris Faulkner announcing the news acting like she's about to express human feelings LMAO:
“Harris Faulkner announces on air that Tucker is out at Fox News”
— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1682352244
Apparently they aired an ad for his show just before that announcement from Faulkner. That's how sudden.
Here's Charlie Kirk looking and sounding like he's legit gonna cry LOL:
“he's not dead but you would think he is from watching Charlie Kirk's show”
— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1682353947
We honestly have no idea what to say about this. It certainly does feel like some other shoe is about to drop, though, and that it's not just about that big Dominion settlement. In these situations, people always start making jokes like "Dead girl? Live boy?" We would also add "impending presidential announcement?" Or also just the possibility that some of these other lawsuits coming down the pike were about to get REAL fuckin' bad for Tuckerlandia, specifically the one from former producer Abby Grossberg?
We will have to wait and find out, we legit do not know, but trust us, we are refreshing our Twitter every five seconds and remembering the olden days when Twitter was a good source for breaking news information.
Speaking of, here are apparently the last words Tucker said to his viewers. As Aaron Rupar notes, he sure doesn't sound like he knows he's not coming back Monday.
“Here was the end of what turned out to be Tucker Carlson's final Fox News show last Friday. Certainly no indication that he didn't expect to be on the air tonight. In fact Tucker's final words are, "we'll be back on Monday."”
— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1682350974
Is this because he hates Donald Trump so "passionately?"
And does Vladimir Putin know he's just lost his biggest American mouthpiece and has Russian state TV started covering it like the Queen's funeral?
Anyway, we are just beginning to process this. Tucker took the 8 p.m. timeslot at Fox News to new white supremacist heights previously unthinkable, and that's why America's most dedicated white supremacists loved him so much. He was at it on Friday night, talking about DEMOGRAPHIC INVASIONS IN THE SUBURBS AIYEEEEEEE!
He made the vile white supremacist "Great Replacement" conspiracy theory a thing we all had to learn about. Media Matters has a great timeline of Tucker's "descent into white supremacy," tracing all the way back to 2004.
We've already alluded to how he was Putin's most reliable fluffer on American airwaves. It's not an exaggeration to say the most influential American cheerleader for Russia's genocidal war against Ukraine is now off the airwaves. That was happening as he was also devoting ever more time to inciting hatred against LGBTQ+ people.
Last week, he let Robert F. Kennedy Jr. regurgitate back into his mouth Russian propaganda and disinformation he had personally been spreading the week before. He was really escalating his rhetoric about trans people, in really sick and scary ways.
Related to all those things, we are sure, but also it's worth mentioning on its own, but Tucker's masculinity issues are immense.
Who will keep us informed about the current fuckability status of the different M&Ms?
We'll have much more to say in the coming days, we are sure.
In the meantime, in summary and in conclusion:
“now that Tucker Carlson has his own show on Fox, he's officially on the path to having a show canceled on all three major cable networks”
— Simon Maloy (@Simon Maloy) 1478195167
“The bitches set me up.”
— Tucker Carlson (@Tucker Carlson) 1320794052
Dang, we do not even know what to say.
Besides hey Tucker, you fuckin' weirdo, why don't you go fuck yourself, you trashy, shame-filled piece of shit?
You know, just for old times' sake, AWWWWW.
Also, remember that time Tucker bragged about beating up a gay dude in the bathroom?
Oh also Don Lemon got fired today but we dunno what to say about that either, the end.
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