Tucker Has Thoughts On Resignation Of Chinese Dictator Jacinda Ardern

Or HOWEVER you say her VERY HARD NAME.

Jacinda Ardern is resigning as prime minister of New Zealand. Or is it Jacaranda Aardvark? Or Jackie Tabernacle?

Tucker Carlson does not know, all names more complicated than "David Duke" are too hard to pronounce. Because pretending to be too stupid to pronounce names is the sort of thing that appeals to his viewers, we guess. (Surprise, it tends to be a woman and/or person of color when he does it.)

“Tucker: Rare good news. The appalling Prime Minister of New Zealand.. the lady with big teeth who tormented her citizens just announced she is leaving office”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1674091233 

Because Tucker's show was on when the news broke of Ardern's resignation, Tucker got to deliver the news. He's a real newsman, that Tucker. So he dramatically and with much flair mangled Ardern's name and explained that "the lady with the big teeth who tormented her citizens" had resigned.

It's so healthy how he talks about women. Wonder where that came from. 

Anyway, as a non-New Zealand writer, we don't have any particular insight into why Ardern is resigning, and we don't pretend to have a good read on New Zealand's politics. NBC News notes, though, that her approval ratings have gone way down, which would have made re-election much tougher. It also notes that she's been subject to "vitriolic abuse" while in office. (Guess some New Zealanders carry the spirit of Tucker Carlson with them in their hearts.)

The young prime minister said in her announcement that she didn't have "enough in the tank" to keep going in the job:

“With such a privileged role comes responsibility — the responsibility to know when you are the right person to lead, and also when you are not,” Ardern said in a surprise announcement in Napier, where her governing center-left Labour Party is holding a caucus retreat. “I know what this job takes, and I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice.”

We wish her the best. From this side of the pond, she's always seemed pretty fuckin' rad.

Announcing the news, Tucker took the opportunity to get in some last-minute dishonest fearmongering about Ardern. Maybe he was worried this would be his final opportunity to sneer at a woman who obviously doesn't respect the authority of men like him.

TUCKER CARLSON: Most authoritarian leader that country has ever had and no one else comes close.

Tucker Carlson tongue-fucks the hems of Viktor Orban's and Vladimir Putin's garments, but Jacinda Ardern is the "authoritarian." Got it.

Also we're amused by Tucker presenting himself as an expert qualified to rank the authoritarianism of New Zealand's leaders. We're sure he has encyclopedic knowledge of the subject, regaling all his dinner guests with funny anecdotes from Kiwi history.

An appalling abuser of human rights of her own people.

LOL.

She, of course, earned the admiration of Western leaders including former CIA director Michael Hayden by ushering in an era of near totalitarianism in New Zealand.

Totalitarianism. Like Michael Hayden likes.

She shut down the entire country over a single COVID case. She told everyone to stay in their bubbles, she told citizens to inform on their neighbors by calling the police if they saw them outside.

Yes, we know that COVID deniers and anti-vaxxers view Ardern's efforts to protect her country as those of a tyrant on par with history's evilest evildoers. This is because they are very stupid people.Tucker also dropped this uncertain mathematical certainty.

What are the chances she was a puppet of the Chinese government? We don't have enough evidence to prove that, but we would rate that as about 100 percent likely.

We don't have any evidence to prove Ardern was a Chinese puppet but it's 100 percent likely. Okeydoke.

And now she is resigning to let the citizens of New Zealand freely elect a new leader. Just like the CHINESE DICTATOR she is!

Cool story, Tucker. Got your finger on the geopolitical pulse, as usual.

[ Media Matters ]

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