883 Comments

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Expand full comment

Funny... They want to pardon the ones who smeared the contents of their diapers on the walls of the Capitol...

Expand full comment

Bloody hell.

Expand full comment

A friend in the UK who was not previously aware of Fucker's existence said he's single-handedly destroyed her spanking fetish.

Expand full comment

I know right? He's a whiny bottom, he'd be getting the spanking...from Putin.

Expand full comment

Sickerer and sickerer! Truly, we need to bring back "state institutions," nice ones with pretty lawns and helpful shrinks, and invite all these MAGAs for a stay. I mean..."DADDY'S HOME?!?!?!"

Expand full comment

His BDSM fantasies notwithstanding, listening to Tucker Carlson bloviate about “weak men” who can’t satisfy their partners is an almost immeasurable level of irony.

Expand full comment

He absolutely is projecting on an IMAX level there!

Expand full comment

Carlson's screed could hardly be more childish, more like an outburst from a spoiled rich kid whose wealthy dad inflicts corporal punishment often and with a muted glee. How do you think the hazing scandals that emerge from time to time at the Ivies got started? The "culture" of our oligarchical overlords has long emphasized the helpless submission of the powerless, leading to raising generation after generation of twisted butt-lickers. Their heirs don't need to demonstrate competence in the useful arts, just when to keep shtumm and suck it up.

And his animadversions on the supposed degeneracy of MSNBC's liberals sound an AWFUL lot like projection, nicht wahr? What would one find by investigating the personal life of this creep? Imagination shudders and turns away. Here he hints at what would come to the appalled light of day were his rock be lifted, revealing what writhes beneath.

What, in short, a contemptable little pissant he is. Why is he back in the country he fled to be closer to his Big Strong Dad Vlad? For all his odious sycophancy, did the delights of living in a gangster state pall so quickly?

Expand full comment

Nice catch Dok! The sick shit Tucker and his kind reveal about their interior lives never fails to nauseate. These fevered minds revel in the sickest kinds of magical thinking in large ecstatic crowds and in radio broadcasts to millions. This behavior has its roots in the Nixonian reaction to the 1960s.

Expand full comment

That's where Alito was incubated, in his puritanical reaction to the 60's. He wants to destroy all the gains made then such as Civil and women's rights.

Expand full comment

“If you allow your 2-year-old to smear the contents of his diapers on the wall of your living room and you do nothing about it, if you allow your 14-year-old to light a joint at the breakfast table, if you allow your hormone-addled 15-year-old daughter to slam the door of her bedroom and give you the finger, you’re gonna get more of it and those kids are going to wind up in rehab!"

In my experience teaching in adult corrections and juvenile lock-up, it is exactly those kids with the "punishing daddy/mommy/other shit-for-morals foster-parents" who wind up in rehab (drug and mental-health) and doing crimes.

Expand full comment

Carli wants a job in Orange Sludge’ Dictatorship .

Expand full comment

He wants a spanking, because it excites him.

Expand full comment

But it's got to be by Putin his favorite daddy-dom. Like Dok says keep it in the bedroom.

Expand full comment

I saw Tucks on MSNBC and couldn't watch more than a few minutes. No wonder he appeals to all of the incels who want to be the strong daddies controlling women. What he describes is pretty standard behavior for normal kids, whom I hope will escape their creepy authoritarian families as soon as they are grown and become card-carrying Commies, or at least vocal liberals.

Expand full comment

They will, rebelling from an abusive parent is the best revenge.

Expand full comment

The first time I saw his show, I was so pissed off I fired off a letter to MSNBC demanding to know why in hell they would not only give a misogynist asshole like Cucker a show, but give him an afternoon/early evening slot alongside so many more worthwhile commentators. He made Chris Matthews look like a radical feminist.

Don't remember what he said that set me off; don't remember what the rest of the lineup looked like (like, did Rachel have her show yet?); don't even remember what that slot actually was. All I know is that if I'd had to see or hear him again, I might have gotten into the gun safe so I could put a bullet in the screen. (That would have upset my husband -- he's much calmer than I am most of the time -- but it would have been less personally destructive than washing my eyes and ears out with undiluted bleach.)

Guess I wasn't the only one with an adverse reaction -- seemed like it took a century, but he was finally gone... and Fox hired him. Perfect fit. (Until it wasn't, because Cucker is always going to be a huge asshole.)

Expand full comment

Jon Stewart humiliated him on air, and suddenly the head exec decided he was right, and fired him.

Expand full comment

chris hayes rides an ebike?

i'm voting republican.

Expand full comment

Fuckin'-a KORREKT.

Get on a real bike, fatty, or learn to control your fucking motorcycle. And stay OFF my fucking bike path.

Expand full comment

DAMN STRAIGHT CLETUS!!!!!!! Either ride a REAL bike, or get out of my way......

Expand full comment

They are usually running ME down, Ted.

I am practicing long-range eye-rolling, but I feel it has been ineffective to date.

Expand full comment

Long range eye-rolling involves the use of the distal, middle, and proximal phalanges of the extended middle finger (either, left, right, or both, hands are suitable for this expression of displeasure). *Just a pro tip from your old uncle Teddy......

Expand full comment

So my bare-ass mooning hack is not indicated?

Expand full comment

OH NO.........VERY APPROPRIATE!!!!!!

Expand full comment

I ride a Cannondale Super Six Evo carbon road bike 50km a day......and I'm 70, living in Thailand. E bikes are the bane of bicyclists EVERYWHERE.........PEDAL YOU LAZY SHITS!!!! And DON"T cut me off at the intersections!!!!!

Expand full comment

Damn...I thought I was the only one...I feel like I have come home.

Expand full comment

LOVE THIS! i ride a huge very heavy step thru in chicago (all year). keeps my 50 year old ass in pretty decent shape.

(however, i do feel like our bike lanes are not equipped for both me and you...)

Expand full comment

Before I moved here 4 years ago, I lived in Carlsbad Ca. and biked some of the most scenic coastal roads in America. All the beach cities along the 101 are VERY bike friendly.......many 'Share-O' lanes through the towns, where bicycles can use the full lane (along with very generous and well maintained bike lanes. They also have the 'Rail Trail' which is a two lane divided bike lane, paralleling the RR tracks from Oceanside to Tijuana.......(you have to climb Torrey Pines though)..........Good for you riding year round.....

Expand full comment

I can hardly wait for the tell-all from one of Tucker's daughters. Incidentally at least three of Tucker's 4 adult children are registered Democrats.

Expand full comment

Thank you for sharing that.

Expand full comment

And 100% of his adult children's fathers is insane.

Expand full comment

Remember when Fucker Snarlson was a lightweight little bowtie-wearing pencilneck pipsqueak who sometimes appeared on CNN?

He's still trying to live that down by being a pretend tough guy. Still as pathetic as ever. Go eat yer TV dinner, rich boy.

Expand full comment

Yeah, the schmetterling ("butterfly," German nickname for a bowtie, everything sounds better in the original German) is meant to be an ironic contrast, you know, nerdy wonk who works out and does what he thinks is combat training with his militia on the weekends.

Expand full comment

so, basically, a poser.

Expand full comment

Since we don't like him, yes. On the other hand, as a teacher, I have found various clothing choices and mannerisms serve me well as shtick. I have an old post-office sweater I wear around the school, and a weird shapeless cap my daughter knitted for me as a 12-year-old, for instance. As a weird old guy of 63, it actually helps in rapport with the kids. Or at least that's what old Boomers think, huh.

Expand full comment

Remind me again why I have to make nice and polite to the people who would beat me up,arrest me, torture me,and then murder me.

Expand full comment

Because if you DON'T, they will beat you up, arrest you, torture you, and then murder you.

Good thing I was here! ;-)

Expand full comment

Ta, Dok. I'll never forgive Russ Smith (who called his editorial column Mugger) for hiring that bowtie wearing no-talent creep as a writer for NY Press. Many of their writers skewed rightwing, but they had some great comics (especially Maakies).

Expand full comment

Maakies....so good.

Expand full comment