Tuff Guy Trump And Tea Party Dorks Meet Behind Gym For MACHO Slap Fight!

Let's take a little break from that one scandal arising from an ill-advised Presidential Tweet to check out another another shitstorm that's brewing between President Twitterfingers and the House Freedom Caucus.

The Freedom Caucus will hurt the entire Republican agenda if they don't get on the team, & fast. We must fight them, & Dems, in 2018!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 30, 2017 

Last week was the seventh anniversary of Obamacare's enactment. Because they are just assholes , House Republicans decided it was absolutely necessary to pass a repeal of the dastardly travesty on that very day. But writing a replacement plan and negotiating with stakeholders is OMG, so boring . So, at the last minute they wrapped up a sack of dogshit and insisted it would COVER EVERYONE. Unless you don't want to be covered by dogshit, in which case you are free to die of the mumps like a patriot.

Trump summoned members of the House Freedom Caucus to thewoodshedWhite House to tell them to pass Paul Ryan's piece of crap healthcare replacement, or else . Singling out House Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), Trump threatened, "Mark, I'm gonna come after you," if Meadows didn't back the Obamacare replacement.

As the week progressed, it became clear that the bill wasn't going to pass. Ruh roh! Trump's chief strategist Stephen Bannon was brought in to yell at the holdouts. Which turned out to be very bad strategy, Chief! Per Raw Story --

“Guys, look. This is not a discussion. This is not a debate. You have no choice but to vote for this bill,” Bannon reportedly told the assembled members

Axios states that one Freedom Caucus member replied: “You know, the last time someone ordered me to something, I was 18 years old. And it was my daddy. And I didn’t listen to him, either.”

At the end of the week, Bannon was still insisting that Ryan hold the vote, so that Trumpland could print out a Shit List of members of the President's own party, as one does . Finally, Ryan pulled the bill from consideration. Sad!

Initially, Trump retreated to the White House to recuperate by punching Reince Priebus in the crotch and talk shit at some Democrats. Once he got his bearings back, he realized that his true enemies were those Freedom loons in the House. And then shit got real. His approval rating might be at 35% and tanking, but he was coming after them, dammit!

If @RepMarkMeadows, @Jim_Jordanand @Raul_Labrador would get on board we would have both great healthcare and massive tax cuts & reform.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 30, 2017 

Where are @RepMarkMeadows, @Jim_Jordanand @Raul_Labrador? #RepealANDReplace  #Obamacare 

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 30, 2017 

The House Freedom Caucus wasted no time telling him that they weren't responsible for this stupid bill, OR the idiotic timeline.

. @realDonaldTrump. @RealDonaldTrump Repeal includes eliminating the costly Obamacare regs that are driving up Americans' premiums.

— House Freedom Caucus (@freedomcaucus) March 31, 2017 

. @realDonaldTrump. @RealDonaldTrump Repeal includes eliminating the costly Obamacare regs that are driving up Americans' premiums.

— House Freedom Caucus (@freedomcaucus) March 31, 2017 

Rep. Thomas Massie of Kentucky leveled a wicked Tea Party insult, calling out Trump for becoming Establishment . Ouch!

. @realDonaldTrumpit's a swamp not a hot tub. We both came here to drain it. #SwampCare polls 17%. Sad! https: //t.co/4kjygV2tdS 

— Thomas Massie (@RepThomasMassie) March 30, 2017 

And Michigan Rep. Justin Amash channeled Yaakov Smirnov, for the ultimate Tea Party sick burn.

It didn't take long for the swamp to drain @realDonaldTrump . No shame, Mr. President. Almost everyone succumbs to the D.C. Establishment. https: //t.co/9bDo8yzH7I 

— Justin Amash (@justinamash) March 30, 2017 

Representative Garrett of Virginia chimed in that he, too, thought Trump was taking on the habits of bad, old DC.

Stockholm syndrome? https: //t.co/jzLxwss8aF 

— Tom Garrett (@GarrettforVA) March 30, 2017 

Yesterday, the Post reported that Trump sent his Office of Management and Budget director, Mick Mulvaney, to tell North Carolina Congressman Mark "Appalachian Trail" Sanford that he's a dead man walking. As if that guy could be any deader than he is now .

Trump dispatched Mick Mulvaney to threaten the South Carolina congressman last week.“The president asked me to look you square in the eyes and to say that he hoped that you voted ‘no’ on this (health care) bill so he could run (a primary challenger) against you in 2018,” Sanford said the OMB director told him, according to the Charleston Post and Courier .

“I’ve never had anyone, over my time in politics, put it to me as directly as that,” the former two-term governor told his local paper. "To state the obvious, I’m not a guy who responds to threats well... It’s contrary to all that I believe in in politics." He said it also contradicts the South Carolina Republican Creed, which reads: “I will never cower before any master, save my God.”

Tea Party congressmen's response to threats of a Trump-backed primary challenge seem to boil down to, "Come at me, bro," 

“If somebody can get to the right of me in the primary, God bless him,” added Freedom Caucus member Trent Franks (R-Ariz.).

Can't hardly wait for them to get to the budget fight next week!

[ Raw Story / The Hill / WaPo / NYTimes / WaPo again / Politico ]

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