There was a family of raccoons that liked to play on the roof of my brother’s house in Seattle at night; you’d wake up at two or three in the morning to several sets of glowing eyes peering down at you from the skylight overhead.
I am jealous of the raccoons. They seem to be having so much fun! My Wonkette icon is the pic of a racoon who somehow lost her tail. She used to climb my bird feeder tree, but I haven't seen her in about six months. I hope she's okay.
My late wife's first husband was an idiot who thought that keeping a raccoon he had trapped, as a pet, was a good idea The damn thing attacked her, and only by sheer luck did her clothing protect her from getting bitten. That, along with other idiocy, resulted in us having 40 great years together. Be careful with wild animals, they call them that for a reason.
See, this is the benefit of men being generally idiots. It opens up the playing field for the ones who aren't. (And please don't ask my wife which one I am.)
In order to avoid getting into all kinds of trouble with the esteemed Editrix I am going to remove my hands from this keyboard before I post what I'm thinking regarding that sonofabitch.
I am just SO glad that you and those girls are free of that asshole and SAFE.
Thanks. He actually threatened them with a pistol during the last days of the marriage. He was talked down by a police negotiator, and then ended up in a state mental hospital. Once there the divorce proceedings stopped because the court said he was not competent enough to proceed. It was an ordeal.
I've caught raccoons before (in a havahart trap, trying to get the woodchuck that was digging up my ex-wife's garden) and they scare the shit out of me!!!
There's a 'coon living under a huge lodgepole pine nextdoor. He's big as a beach ball and not a bit bothered by humans unaccompanied by dogs. Raccoons are more affable than most people, these days.
Get yer canoodling in early, kids. Gonna be too hot for it sooner rather than later today...
I have had adult beverages chilling since last night, FORETHOUGHT!
I miss the raccoons that lived in the wood pile at our old house. They were SO much fun to watch.
To this day I am so grateful to have been able to raise my girls on a few acres repleat with the local wildlife. It made for some wonderful mornings lingering near the windows.
You had me with the raccoons!!! Can we find a way to have them overrun Mar a yucko? Thank s so much for the nod to Tom Lehrer!!! What a witty man. His commentary is classic.
Hi pals! Kind of OT, did anybody read Don Lemon's post about TFG's jealousy/obsession WRT President Obama?: "*rump makes the mediocre feel superior by reminding them that excellence can still be ignored."
To be fair, when the US is broken up into individual billionaire-ruled fiefdoms each is going to need a reliable source of weapons-grade fissionable material.
A Tennessee school district is no longer accepting doctor's excuses for children's absences. They'll be marked either present or absent. Their reasoning is that, as adults, they won't have the luxury of staying home from work if they're sick or injured.
Re: the nekkid ladies, the summary here made me read it like some kind of art or movie, but the quotes in the article, especially, “what looked like a chiropractic table” has me guessing massage porn or bondage porn. So… porn.
Well, yeah, they are. The FEMA DEATH CAMPS that the (((globalists))) were planning to build were going to be used to exterminate white, Christian, heterosexual, gun-owning patriots as part of their nefarious plan to destroy freedom, impose godless socialism on the country, and hand the world over to Satan. Trump's camps are meant to exterminate filthy Mex-i-cans; brutish rapists and murders who come to take our jobs, mooch off of our welfare, sell drugs to our children, and not speak American [sic] around obnoxious Karens in grocery stores.
The past, present, and future tense of broadcast is BROADCAST!! Sorry, pet peeve. Also, if you don't stop insulting the intelligence of your subscribers with that preamble to EVERY FUCKING POST, I will unsubscribe. It's been 2 weeks already.
"Reported an aghast witness, Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!" Or something to that effect.
"Remember how for decades conspiracy theorists have been convinced that FEMA was going to build concentration camps? And how MAGA has raged that money that should be going to veterans and schools was being spent on immigrants instead? "
In case nobody else mentioned it, Tom Lehrer posted all his songs, lyrics, and more for the world to download, for free, here: https://tomlehrersongs.com/ Go forth, download, and enjoy.
I'm pleased to report that Senator Merkley's annual barbecue yesterday featured the senator making energetic use of the phrase "Hell. NO" repeatedly, and now my Wonkette cap has been blessed.
Hi all, it's your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/raccoon-canoodles
And your late-loading meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/716a5d15-0466-4da3-bd19-2444cd080a9f?utm_source=share
Hey, did anyone catch where the 4th babby went? I count 4 going up, 3 following Mom into tree.
I NEED TO KNOW IF TEH BABBY IS OKAY, OKAY?
LOL, the babby is okay!!! Swear!!!
Oh thank you. I believe. Thanks. Really.
It takes a LOT to take out a raccoon babby!
Also, I saw her paw.
I'm...sorry that you know that? And yez, sturdy & smert are babby raccoons. Thanks for the reminder. PAW EVIDENCE! 🙌🙌🙌😘
There was a family of raccoons that liked to play on the roof of my brother’s house in Seattle at night; you’d wake up at two or three in the morning to several sets of glowing eyes peering down at you from the skylight overhead.
Kind of unnerving! 🦝
I would stay up late to experience that :)
Thank you for the raccoons! Cute lil' trash pandas.
Proof: trees make raccoons!
I am jealous of the raccoons. They seem to be having so much fun! My Wonkette icon is the pic of a racoon who somehow lost her tail. She used to climb my bird feeder tree, but I haven't seen her in about six months. I hope she's okay.
Babby Tree Badgers!
They were getting some rest before venturing forth to find a wankpanzer to root around in.
KIT-ties!!!!
Cute but trashy.
My late wife's first husband was an idiot who thought that keeping a raccoon he had trapped, as a pet, was a good idea The damn thing attacked her, and only by sheer luck did her clothing protect her from getting bitten. That, along with other idiocy, resulted in us having 40 great years together. Be careful with wild animals, they call them that for a reason.
See, this is the benefit of men being generally idiots. It opens up the playing field for the ones who aren't. (And please don't ask my wife which one I am.)
Oh, the tales I could tell.
Tails.
I simply cannot imagine being that STUPID.
It's HIM who should've been bitten.
I ended up adopting my girls because he did not want either of them or the child support payments that the divorce required.
Quality human.
In order to avoid getting into all kinds of trouble with the esteemed Editrix I am going to remove my hands from this keyboard before I post what I'm thinking regarding that sonofabitch.
I am just SO glad that you and those girls are free of that asshole and SAFE.
Thanks. He actually threatened them with a pistol during the last days of the marriage. He was talked down by a police negotiator, and then ended up in a state mental hospital. Once there the divorce proceedings stopped because the court said he was not competent enough to proceed. It was an ordeal.
I've caught raccoons before (in a havahart trap, trying to get the woodchuck that was digging up my ex-wife's garden) and they scare the shit out of me!!!
If they can lure a hunting dog into deep water, they'll climb on its head and drown that sucker. They're clever and vicious.
Wise.
Martini, I can see you're just trash pandering here.
take my fucking upfist
cary_grant_get_out.gif
There's a 'coon living under a huge lodgepole pine nextdoor. He's big as a beach ball and not a bit bothered by humans unaccompanied by dogs. Raccoons are more affable than most people, these days.
Get yer canoodling in early, kids. Gonna be too hot for it sooner rather than later today...
I have had adult beverages chilling since last night, FORETHOUGHT!
I miss the raccoons that lived in the wood pile at our old house. They were SO much fun to watch.
To this day I am so grateful to have been able to raise my girls on a few acres repleat with the local wildlife. It made for some wonderful mornings lingering near the windows.
🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝
D'aww!
Why are you spying on my family?
LOL so CUTE!
Cute critters!
You had me with the raccoons!!! Can we find a way to have them overrun Mar a yucko? Thank s so much for the nod to Tom Lehrer!!! What a witty man. His commentary is classic.
Hi pals! Kind of OT, did anybody read Don Lemon's post about TFG's jealousy/obsession WRT President Obama?: "*rump makes the mediocre feel superior by reminding them that excellence can still be ignored."
https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-president-who-wanted-to-be-his-predecessorbut-never-could/
It's past time to impeach! Let's get busy!
To be fair, when the US is broken up into individual billionaire-ruled fiefdoms each is going to need a reliable source of weapons-grade fissionable material.
A Tennessee school district is no longer accepting doctor's excuses for children's absences. They'll be marked either present or absent. Their reasoning is that, as adults, they won't have the luxury of staying home from work if they're sick or injured.
Re: the nekkid ladies, the summary here made me read it like some kind of art or movie, but the quotes in the article, especially, “what looked like a chiropractic table” has me guessing massage porn or bondage porn. So… porn.
"Happy yet, MAGA?"
Well, yeah, they are. The FEMA DEATH CAMPS that the (((globalists))) were planning to build were going to be used to exterminate white, Christian, heterosexual, gun-owning patriots as part of their nefarious plan to destroy freedom, impose godless socialism on the country, and hand the world over to Satan. Trump's camps are meant to exterminate filthy Mex-i-cans; brutish rapists and murders who come to take our jobs, mooch off of our welfare, sell drugs to our children, and not speak American [sic] around obnoxious Karens in grocery stores.
You see? It's totally different!
The past, present, and future tense of broadcast is BROADCAST!! Sorry, pet peeve. Also, if you don't stop insulting the intelligence of your subscribers with that preamble to EVERY FUCKING POST, I will unsubscribe. It's been 2 weeks already.
Your concern has been noted.
Future tense is 'will broadcast', or similar constructions. If you insist on being pedantic.
Merriam-Webster lists 'broadcasted' as a common enough alternative.
"Reported an aghast witness, Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!" Or something to that effect.
"Remember how for decades conspiracy theorists have been convinced that FEMA was going to build concentration camps? And how MAGA has raged that money that should be going to veterans and schools was being spent on immigrants instead? "
Projection, as usual.
Every accusation is a confession?
In case nobody else mentioned it, Tom Lehrer posted all his songs, lyrics, and more for the world to download, for free, here: https://tomlehrersongs.com/ Go forth, download, and enjoy.
I'm pleased to report that Senator Merkley's annual barbecue yesterday featured the senator making energetic use of the phrase "Hell. NO" repeatedly, and now my Wonkette cap has been blessed.
Nice Times from the Land of the Long White Cloud:
https://news.mongabay.com/short-article/2025/07/world-nature-conservation-day-how-a-large-flightless-parrot-rebounded-from-the-verge-of-extinction/
Maybe Thiel wants his own nuclear bomb to lord over everyone in his new on-line Pay Up, Pal debt-dunning service?
Tom Lehrer died just a bit too soon to add Peter Thiel to the lyrics of "Who's Next?"
"‘That is pubic hair.’ Even right now, I couldn’t even tell you what I was watching.”
This deserves its own pavilion in the Hall of Fame of Epic Self-Owns
You know Walters is watching some real fucking weird porn that would take a normal person a minute to understand