Veep Debate: The Drinking Game
By popular demand. (Continues after the jump.)
Take one sip:
•Every time Edwards mentions Halliburton. (Do a shot every time Cheney mentions Halliburton. Overcharge yourself for it.)
•Cheney mentions "trial lawyers"/"frivolous lawsuits."
•Edwards mentions "ordinary"/"working" Americans.
•Cheney claims Kerry-Edwards will raise taxes.
•Edwards talks about "one America." (Take two sips every time he mentions "two Americas.")
•Cheney says "flip" or "flop" or "flip-flop."
Take two sips:
•Edwards refers to the lack evidence connecting Iraq and al Qaeda.
•Cheney insists that there is a connection.
•Edwards refers to the administration "failing" at anything.
•Cheney refers to the Kerry/Edwards ticket being "out of the mainstream."
•Edwards smiles and shakes his head ruefully, as if to indicate Cheney just doesn't understand.
•Cheney shakes his head and pounds his chest, as if to indicate he's having a heart attack.
•Cheney says X number of terrorists have been "captured and killed."
•Edwards tells a heartwarming/heartwrenching story. (Chug if he's the hero of the story.)
•Anyone points with their thumb.
Chug:
•Cheney calls Edwards "John."
•Edwards calls Cheney "Dick."
•Cheney says that voting for Kerry will cause terrorists to attack.
•Edwards throws money in the air and shouts, "I'm rich! I'm rich! I could buy and sell all of you!"
•Cheney refers to Gwen Ifill as "you people," or -- more likely -- "Condi."
•The two men give up and let their wives decide the debate in a cage match.
•Edwards points out we have yet to capture Osama.
•Cheney pulls Osama out from under his jacket.
Bonus rounds:
•Edwards calls himself the "son of a mill worker": Chug a bottle of moonshine.
•Edwards refers to Cheney's six deferments: Have sex without using birth control.
•Cheney mentions "family values": Do a shot with your gay daughter.
•Cheney refers to Edwards's lack of foreign policy experience: Look for a WMD.
•Edwards talks about the "fighting for people just like the ones I grew up with" -- sip expensive drink while thinking nostalgic thoughts about the people you grew up and their Budweisers.
•Cheney tells Edwards to go fuck himself: Watch him try.