13 Comments
User's avatar
bobbert's avatar

<a href="http:\/\/youtu.be\/vEKuGcmW70I" target="_blank">That's why he loves mankind.</a>

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

<blockquote>Politico has no idea what the third woman’s role in the fracas was; we’ve seen enough movies to know that she was probably the real source of the trouble, and to this day no one is the wiser. She was probably a spy, too.</blockquote> Plus she knows what they did last summer.

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

The bears living in the woods behind my house?

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

Yeah, but I bet things really got fun when they made up.

Expand full comment
Lefty Mark's avatar

He called in his friend Bobby Jindal and had him perform an exorcism.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

We do have a salaried position available...

Expand full comment
PsycWench's avatar

Henry Hyde advised Jackson to use the "youthful indiscretion" line Jackson argued that it only works when you're under the age of 50.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

But he does, you know, <i>tolerate</i> those "false" religions. That shows he's got Real American™ values.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

But ... but .... I'm pro-sin. Surely that counts for <i>something.</i>

Expand full comment
schmannity's avatar

Everyone's pro-sin. It's the wages that suck.

Expand full comment
𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Nah ... he just has a wicked sense of humor.

Expand full comment
Jared James's avatar

Major Scheisskopf would never be caught dead falling off the nose of his airplane.

Expand full comment
malsperanza's avatar

Why didn't I think of this? I am going to request restraining orders against, let's see, Mitch McConnell, Steve King, Joe Wilson, Rand Paul, Louis Gohmert, Stuart Stevens, Rush Limbaugh, Ted Cruz, Wayne La Pierre ... fuck it, can I do a group filing for the GOP House caucus? They are all putting me in grave and immediate personal peril.

Expand full comment