Wacky British Floppybums Clearly Unprepared for Olympics, Murder Bells Flying Everywhere

Drat, the bell! Did no one think of securing the bells ? Hells bells, drat drat drat bollocks, splat. Here is Tiddlywinks McNinnypants, the UK's "Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport," trying to ring a bell, like all British people are required to do during their lunch breaks, and whoops, there goes the bell, breaking apart, flying into a lady, who is now dead. No, she is fine. She has flown off with her umbrella to defeat the Dragons of the North. Where is a glib American management consultant to bring some bloody order to this pippy helltown?

What music do all you Wonketteers want to see at the Londontowne Open-inge Ceremoneye tonight? Let's have a dance party, right here, on the Internet.

[ Gawker ]