The "Children of Mary," a group of nuns in Ohio, has released a video that is a kind of one-stop shopping trip for insane ideas about birth control. If you can't bring yourself to waste 13 minutes of your life watching it (and we do not blame you at all if you decide to skip it), here are the main points:
<blockquote>Contraceptives lead to bestiality.</blockquote>
Retroactively, in the case of <a href="http:\/\/www.slate.com\/articles\/health_and_science\/science\/2012\/01\/when_bestiality_gets_blamed_on_the_animals.html" target="_blank">17th century pigfucking</a>.
<i> Several years in the future, following complete implementation of the Affordable Care Act (read: compulsory hormonal birth control for all women), a dutfiul Christian couple completes an act of attempted procreation while a lanky figure lurks in the shadows . . . </i>
I don&#039;t remember getting laid in the eighth month to be all that fun. Stockpile those pheromones because you&#039;re gonna need them in three months.
My guess is Michele Bachmann has been over medicating for decades.
<blockquote>Contraceptives lead to bestiality.</blockquote>
Retroactively, in the case of <a href="http:\/\/www.slate.com\/articles\/health_and_science\/science\/2012\/01\/when_bestiality_gets_blamed_on_the_animals.html" target="_blank">17th century pigfucking</a>.
Yes. They&#039;re on a bus, motherfucker!
I thought they were from Our Lady of the Immaculate Deception.
And also ignore the increase in life expectancy since the use of oral contraceptives became widespread. Because, science.
<i> Several years in the future, following complete implementation of the Affordable Care Act (read: compulsory hormonal birth control for all women), a dutfiul Christian couple completes an act of attempted procreation while a lanky figure lurks in the shadows . . . </i>
President Obama: Contracepted!
Those are my favorite kind of nuns.
... and the rest of the team all say &quot;Yup&quot;, except for the linebackers, whose mouths are already full.
Were w&#039;s used differently back in the oldene dayf?
Cause that&#039;s definitely a nimple.
Contracepting: The new normalcy.
Or, for Joe Biden, apparently a Big Foot and a Half.
Have MOAR children, obvs.
So terrorist anchor babies are real?
I don&#039;t remember getting laid in the eighth month to be all that fun. Stockpile those pheromones because you&#039;re gonna need them in three months.
&quot;Fertile women exude pheromones that make them super-attractives... &quot; Women smell like Lobster bisque and a nice Chardonnay?
I plan to work this idea into every study I conduct. If my hypothesis isn&#039;t confirmed, it&#039;s because God interfered.