Wait What's This About John Fetterman And $1 Houses?
Oh Dr. Oz, you scamp!
We know we haven't shut up about Dr. Oz, the Republican nominee for US Senate from the great state or whatever of Pennsylvania, but that is only because he won't stop winning.
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Even after John Fetterman, the nine-foot-tall linebacker who is the Democratic nominee and also lieutenant governor of Pennsylvania, had a stroke and was sidelined from the campaign trail for several months, he just abused Oz from the comfort of his awesome warehouse he bought for $2000 and fixed up all awesome, like we said, because he is a Gen X-y cool guy who understands about warehouses. (Formative Gen X experience: Jennifer Beals's warehouse in Flashdance . Also: Jennifer Beals eating lobster in Jennifer Beals's naked tuxedo bib in Flashdance .)
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People on the Internet (that's you!) have been wondering if Dr. Oz accidentally hired a John Fetterman staffer to run his social media, because it is woof bad. Like this, from last night:
This is about ... what? What is this about? It is presumably about how Dr. Oz got faced for not knowing how many houses he owns (or rather, just lying about it), see the link way at the top of the post. The Republican Party and Oz have been trying to make a thing about how John Fetterman "lived off" his parents into his 40s, and I have no desire to look at their page and see what they're talking about beyond the headline, because you and I both already know that whatever it is, they're lying. Maybe he did! Or maybe he lived in multigenerational housing like the rest of us.
But is Dr. Oz's social media manager trying to remind us of Fetterman's bitchen warehouse loft — look at this shit! — or the cool artists lofts his town rented out for $100 a month when he was mayor of Braddock, PA, or here, let's read this Harvard thing, about when Fetterman transformed
a former Presbyterian church, which he and his father bought for $50,000 in 2003, into a youth center. The center, named for Nya Page, a Braddock toddler sexually assaulted and left to freeze to death by her father, will soon open thanks in part to the more than $1 million Levi Strauss & Company pledged to Braddock Redux in a deal Fetterman brokered last year, when the company chose to build its 2010 advertising campaign, “Ready to Work,” around Braddock and its residents. (Townspeople were paid to star in print ads and commercials airing nationwide this past summer; “I did not get a penny personally from this deal,” Fetterman repeatedly points out. “Not even a free pair of jeans.”)
because that's what I found when I googled "John Fetterman $1 houses." Hell, if anybody could make $1 houses happen, my bet's on Fetterman. Thanks Dr. Oz social media manager!
Shit, that was great, let's read another paragraph!
As Fetterman talks, three boys walk by, wearing Braddock Youth Project (BYP) T-shirts that group members designed and silk-screened themselves. The BYP was developed by Fetterman with one of his primary collaborators, the KEYS Service Corps, the local AmeriCorps unit. BYP teenagers work extensively on the expanding two-acre Grow Pittsburgh organic urban farm that has replaced trash-filled vacant lots along part of the main drag, Braddock Avenue. The boys are carrying watering cans and jokingly ask if the mayor wants his flowers drenched.
Man, what an asshole.
Dr. Oz So Mad Cheaty John Fetterman Cheating By Being On Right Side Of Issues!
LOL.
Keep Wonkette going forever please, if you are able! We love you!
hahahaha :)
OK, that was amazing. My cackle woke up the cats