Wanted: Sycophant to the King of the Sycophants

Journalist/capricious motherfucker Bob Woodward needs an assistant. He's posted the longest want ad we've ever seen over at Journalism Jobs, which is kind of quaint. You will be Bob's right-hand man (or "woman")! You are there! It's all in the second-person, kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure Book. Candidates need:

* Reporting ability and experience * Writing ability and experience * Editing ability and experience * Maturity * Initiative * Trustworthiness * Ability to get along with people

Are you a bad enough dude to ghost-write Woodward's next best-seller? Canyouclean up his atrocious prose? Apply now!

Salary: Not Specified. CIA experience encouraged but not required.

 Bob Woodward seeks exceptional research and reporting assistant [JournalismJobs.com]