248 Comments

Stop showing us pictures of your mom and dad, Mongo. Now go back to beating it to Hitler anime girls having a golden shower on good old Donnie Trump...

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Donald? Nah, even Trump isn't this brain damaged- you must be Eric.

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Not enough superlatives to be Spicey, either.

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VP is not.

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Extra points for duckspeak, Dok.

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Not just him. A Guardian article on Cohen-Watkins and the CIA said that the CIA was angry at him because he fired their liason, an old Marine, and kept trying to bypass their chain-of-command "the way that Ollie North did to avoid Congress."

Someone in the comments said that Cohen-Watkins wasn't just buddies with Kushner, he had family connections to Kushner's set.

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Contractors screw everything up..

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I wonder if its against the law to portray yourself as a military officer or representative? It seems kinda like impersonating a police officier which is illegal. Maybe Jeff Sessions could look into this hypothetical question...

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Doubleplusgood reference.

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Not Captain Crunch? Or Major Payne?

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Post Appomattox.

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I feel like Deez Nutz would be smarter than this. Maybe it's Gary Johnson. I would nominate Paul Ryan, but I envision him pursing his mouth in disapproval at the use of the S word.

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"Stone's Forehead Recedes another 5cm. Film at 11."

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Doubtful. He mentioned specific place names like "Afghanistan," so that probably disqualifies Johnson.

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At first I was all "it's gotta be Trump, or a random Breitbart commenter (but I repeat myself)". But then I saw that our mystery man used the word "empower", which is not only not in Trump's vocabulary, it is precisely the kind of word that a twatwaffle like Miller would use thinking he's clever and appropriating sjw leftie cuck idiom to say stupid awful shit. So I'm going to have to go with "Miller" for 500 points on this one.

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Damn. That's true. I'll have to go back to the drawing board on that one.

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