248 Comments
User's avatar
Hairstrike Alpha's avatar

Stop showing us pictures of your mom and dad, Mongo. Now go back to beating it to Hitler anime girls having a golden shower on good old Donnie Trump...

Hairstrike Alpha's avatar

Donald? Nah, even Trump isn't this brain damaged- you must be Eric.

fawkedifiknow's avatar

Not enough superlatives to be Spicey, either.

Zyxomma's avatar

Extra points for duckspeak, Dok.

Lamashtar's avatar

Not just him. A Guardian article on Cohen-Watkins and the CIA said that the CIA was angry at him because he fired their liason, an old Marine, and kept trying to bypass their chain-of-command "the way that Ollie North did to avoid Congress."

Someone in the comments said that Cohen-Watkins wasn't just buddies with Kushner, he had family connections to Kushner's set.

Lamashtar's avatar

Contractors screw everything up..

Sitkajo's avatar

I wonder if its against the law to portray yourself as a military officer or representative? It seems kinda like impersonating a police officier which is illegal. Maybe Jeff Sessions could look into this hypothetical question...

Riley Whodat Venable's avatar

Not Captain Crunch? Or Major Payne?

Claire's avatar

I feel like Deez Nutz would be smarter than this. Maybe it's Gary Johnson. I would nominate Paul Ryan, but I envision him pursing his mouth in disapproval at the use of the S word.

Opalescent Riddles's avatar

"Stone's Forehead Recedes another 5cm. Film at 11."

Tercero Esfinge's avatar

Doubtful. He mentioned specific place names like "Afghanistan," so that probably disqualifies Johnson.

foog's avatar

At first I was all "it's gotta be Trump, or a random Breitbart commenter (but I repeat myself)". But then I saw that our mystery man used the word "empower", which is not only not in Trump's vocabulary, it is precisely the kind of word that a twatwaffle like Miller would use thinking he's clever and appropriating sjw leftie cuck idiom to say stupid awful shit. So I'm going to have to go with "Miller" for 500 points on this one.

Claire's avatar

Damn. That's true. I'll have to go back to the drawing board on that one.