Washingtonienne: Wonkette Works the Phones.

Today we learned what that thing on our desk that looks like it might be some sort of hand-held radio, with, like, a number pad on it, is for. If you punch in a number, it connects you with another human. In real time. It's like instant messaging, but you'retalking. We understand that some people use this device to "confirm" things that people have emailed them. We thought we'd test out this crazy scheme on the press contact for Senator Mike DeWine.

PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE: Senator DeWine's office.

WONKETTE: Hi, this is Ana Marie Cox, may I talk to Amanda Flaig?

PERSON WHO ANSWERED THE PHONE: Hold.

[Sousa march as hold music]

PRESS PERSON [I ASSUME]: Yes?

WONKETTE: Hi, is this Amanda Flaig?

PRESS PERSON [NOT SURE HOW TO TEST THIS ASSERTION]: Yes, how can I help you?

WONKETTE: I'm calling about this story about a young woman who was fired because of her blog. . .

PRESS PERSON: Who are you with?

WONKETTE: I'm a freelancer. [Not, technically, a lie.]

PRESS PERSON: Can you hold?

WONKETTE: Sure.

[Sousa marches. That's sort of gay, no?]

PRESS PERSON: Sorry. I was just getting rid of another call.

WONKETTE: It's ok.

PRESS PERSON: What were you calling about?

WONKETTE: This story about a young woman who was fired because of her blog.

PRESS PERSON: What?

WONKETTE: She was fired because of her blog. I know you must have gotten calls about this. I've talked to reporters who have called you.

PRESS PERSON: Ah. No comment.

WONKETTE: Well, did you let someone go yesterday?

PRESS PERSON: No comment.

WONKETTE: No comment, no comment, no comment, eh?

PRESS PERSON: No comment.

WONKETTE: Well, thanks.

You heard it here first: No comment.

We're going to go back to making shit up.

 Washingtonienne: Back from Monkeyfishing [Wonkette]

 Washingtonienne: Not Fired, Gone Monkeyfishing? [Wonkette]

 Washingtonienne A.P.B. [Wonkette]

 Washingtonienne's Former Day Job [Wonkette]

 The Lost Washingtonienne (WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, ETC., ETC.) [Wonkette]

 We Love You, Washingtonienne [Wonkette]

 Where is Washingtonienne? [Wonkette]

 A Girl After Our Own Heart (She's So Getting a Book Deal Out of This) [Wonkette]