Watch Obama Explain Warring On Syria, Or Maybe Just Say 'F-ck It, I Quit' Like That Alaska Lady

President Obama will be addressing the nation at 10 AM Eastern (or whenever he actually shows up, that guy's never on time, is he? IMPEACH!) to explain our attacks in Syria. Or maybe to just pull an Alaska and go spend his time trying to legalize marijuana.

7: 14 AM:Yep, we started dropping some bombs on some folks, but we have a coalition of countries that support us, so it's okay. Plus, 40 nations have offered to help. No word on Poland yet.

7: 15 AM:"We will not tolerate safe havens for terrorists who threaten our people."

7: 16 AM:And that's it. Obama out. Enjoy your war, America.

7: 18 AM:Just to clarify, no, he did not quit. He is still the president of you. Sorry, Republicans.